I don’t think I ever thanked you for those months at the beginning of my life when you doted on me no matter what. I confess that I was just testing you, trying to see how far I could push you – you were just so nice to me all the time…So I played a few cruel tricks on you. Just for kicks really.
Now that I’m experiencing this first hand myself (karma hey?) I think a few apologies are long overdue. So here goes…
I’M SO SORRY FOR:
- Throwing the dummy out of my crib for the seventh time that night. I decided I didn’t want it after all.
- Letting you change my outfit and then weeing all over it in the 4 seconds you took to swap my nappy. I thought I was being funny. You clearly didn’t.
- Pretending to be asleep every time the health visitor, midwife, friends, family visited so that you would look like a big fat fibber.
- Letting you take ages swaddling me and then breaking out of it as soon as you put me down. I thought you were testing my motor skills.
- Waiting until you settled down to watch the next episode of that drama you were in to and then screaming for you. I just wanted to see whodunnit.
- Eye-balling and smiling at you during the night feeds. I knew you were trying not to look at me.
- Crying for food for two hours and then falling back to sleep once you got up to make the bottle. I was just playing with you.
Please forgive me, I knew not what I did.