Dear Max, in response to your letter of complaint…(or when you had a dog before a baby)

having a dog before a baby

Dear Max,

I am writing in response to your letter of complaint received on 20th August regarding the birth and subsequent dwelling of our first child in ‘your house’.

I’m sorry that you feel that we made an impulsive and ill-informed purchase and should return her, but I’m afraid that isn’t possible. You see, we didn’t just go and pick her up from Leeds and pay £600 – it was rather more complicated that that. But aside from that, we really quite like her and don’t want to give her up. Kind of like how you feel when we want to take away your tennis ball because you’ve dropped it in fox poo and you’re rolling it all over the house.

having a dog before a baby

I do however understand your concern for your well-being since her arrival. I can only apologise for her waking you up in the middle of the night – this is something we have been trying to address since we brought her home and you will have noticed that it has improved recently. The early mornings however are unfortunately here to stay so you will have to get used to those I’m afraid. I don’t think that your suggestion to get the Environmental Health involved is very constructive. We could perhaps shut the door to your room if you prefer?

I would also like to address the point you raised about her ‘continued physical harassment’ of you. I appreciate that she does take ‘crazed swipes’ at you and have noticed that she does find it funny to pull on your ears, but I’m really not sure that as ASBO is the solution. As you well know, this is something I am continuously trying to manage and you have done absolutely nothing to help yourself. So when I’m playing with her, singing to her or making those funny animal faces at her, perhaps you should keep your distance rather than squeezing your snout up in between us or pawing at my face. Likewise, when Taylor is playing nicely on her play mat I think you should leave her well alone, rather than chewing up Sophie the Giraffe in front of her.

Now we have to talk about the toys. It did upset me when you pointed out that I no longer buy toys for you, yet come back every week with a new one for Taylor. I hold my hands up – you are right, and I am sorry. We will take a trip to Pets at Home and I promise to buy you some new toys. I may even get you some gravy bones if you stop whining at me all the time.

I’m also sorry that you think we don’t take you to the pub anymore and that you overheard us saying that it was ‘too stressful with both of you’. You weren’t meant to hear that. I know that you are a good dog really, but the time when you jumped up on the bar was a little embarrassing, and having to come and find you in the pub kitchen is just not acceptable. Why can’t you just lie there and go to sleep by the fire like all of the other dogs?

Yes I did say ‘dogs’. I know that this is hard for you to hear but YOU ARE NOT A HUMAN BEING. I’m sorry I had to tell you that, but it’s something that you really need to know. I know that your Dad has tried to protect you from this truth, feeding you roast dinners and cradling you like a baby, but you are not a baby, you are actually a dog. Yes, those furry things that you turn your nose up at in the park because you think you are too good for them. You are one of them. So the point you make about Taylor being fed the ‘chicken breast whilst you only get the gristle’ is a little redundant. As is the one about us never getting up in the night to feed you. And the one about us going abroad without you.

I bet you have already forgotten about the camping trip we took you on last year – the one where it pissed it down for the entire four days and I would wake up every night to find you sat on top of my sleeping bag staring at me because you weren’t happy with the noise outside and you wanted to go home. The one where you cleared out an entire pub garden because you took a dislike to a fellow spaniel and wouldn’t stop barking at him (I don’t care if he started it, you have been brought up to know better). The one where I had to sit on a rock for two hours in the freezing cold whilst your Dad threw sticks for you to fetch on a deserted beach. THAT HOLIDAY WAS FOR YOU.

So too are the walks I take you on every day. Don’t get me wrong, most of the time I enjoy our walks and I’m glad to get out of the house, but other days I so cannot be arsed. I do it for you. So the next time we get ready to go out for a walk I would appreciate it if you didn’t have me chasing you around the house to get my shoe back before we can leave. And please don’t look so bloody miserable the minute we get home. I also take issue with the point in your letter about your walks being ‘shit these days because the buggy doesn’t allow us to go anywhere fun’. You know that’s not true. And no, leaving Taylor in the car is not an option.

I urge you to give it some time before you go and permanently live with that ‘nicer family who looks after you when we go abroad without you’. I have a feeling Taylor will grow on you; It may come as a surprise now, but one day she will be happy to throw your ball for you and take you for a run in the park. No, without the buggy.

Anyway, I have to go now. It’s time for your walk.

 

Did you have a dog before a baby? How has it gone for you?

 

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33 Comment

  1. Fiona @adventure_seek
    August 24, 2015 at 10:38 am

    This is hilarious and very similar to how I think our dog would write a letter! It is bad enough being a working mum and dealing with the guilt of leaving my baby everyday, but the guilt over the dog is even worse! Less walks, less cuddles, less toys and he has to put up with the baby grabbing at him!
    Our poor pets!

    1. Mum in Brum
      August 24, 2015 at 10:33 pm

      I know, ours has literally gone from being our baby to suddenly realising he’s not actually our baby at all…bless him. They do make you feel sooo guilty when you leave the house – but they also give the best welcome home don’t they! Thanks for stopping by x

  2. Notmyyearoff
    August 24, 2015 at 7:04 pm

    This is fantastic! I hope your furry first baby comes to term with the fact that he is indeed a dog and Taylor and he become much better friends. I love that photo of him 🙂

    1. Mum in Brum
      August 24, 2015 at 10:30 pm

      Glad you enjoyed the read! I’m hoping they will be friends one day, but I don’t think it will be for a long time – at least until she can do something for him other than pull his hair every now and again! I love him really – honest 🙂

  3. farmerswifeandmummy
    August 24, 2015 at 8:07 pm

    hahahaha my dog is still annoyed at me and we’re on number 2. I went down for a bottle the other night and hubster said she had left a lovely ‘gift’ for us in the morning. I will let you imagine that 😉
    They will always be our first fur babies 🙂 #MaternityMondays

    1. Mum in Brum
      August 24, 2015 at 10:28 pm

      Haha, I think it’s only a matter of time until I start finding those ‘gifts’. They are sooo needy, but so loving – we can never be mad at them for too long! 🙂

  4. Becky
    August 25, 2015 at 9:20 am

    Ha ha this is our dog completely! She used to be ‘our baby’ until we got actual babies and now she is right down the pecking order! Poor thing. Still love her to bits though – and there’s the term ‘puppy dog eyes’ for a reason! #twinklytuesdays

    1. Mum in Brum
      August 25, 2015 at 2:33 pm

      You are so right about the puppy dog eyes – they make you feel so bad! We wouldn’t be without them really would we? 🙂

  5. mummyofboygirltwins
    August 25, 2015 at 12:32 pm

    Awww bless! I know what you mean, our cat and dog were here before the twins came along, and we gave them our full attention! Really funny and so spot on. Your dog is beautiful xxx

    1. Mum in Brum
      August 25, 2015 at 2:36 pm

      Glad you can relate – it really is hard to share the love isn’t it?! If only you could explain to them and they understood xx

  6. Nancy Straughan
    August 25, 2015 at 4:10 pm

    This is such a fun post! They do become like children and in many ways dogs can be a great eye opener as it is so difficult to care for them sometimes. There’s so room to be selfish, just like when you have a baby! #TwinklyTuesday

    1. Mum in Brum
      August 25, 2015 at 9:05 pm

      This is so true! So many people told us that we were going to have a shock once we had children, but (even though this was the case) it definitely helped prepare us having a needy dog beforehand!

  7. Morna
    August 25, 2015 at 5:10 pm

    what a great post! We had a dog before a baby- also called max. He was incredibly patient but I did see home wince slightly the day Sally stepped on his testicles (he was a Great Dane so they were rather magnificent!)

    1. Mum in Brum
      August 25, 2015 at 9:02 pm

      Haha! I did have to rescue our Max from having his pulled the other day – he was not impressed!

  8. Lisa (mummascribbles
    August 27, 2015 at 9:47 pm

    Aww this is cute and funny! We had a cat when we had Zach and she found it hellish once he was on the move! She just hid until he was asleep haha! It’s hard when the pet was there first but I hope they get used to each other in time 🙂 Thanks so much for linking up with #TwinklyTuesday

  9. Robyn
    October 26, 2015 at 1:00 am

    Brilliant post, so funny, and your dog is adorable! We are at the continual physical harassment stage now, but our dog also seems to bring it upon herself, so I do my best to referee but I don’t feel too sorry for her (the dog)!
    Robyn recently posted…LONG DAYS, SHORT YEARS – A QUICK LISTMy Profile

    1. Mum in Brum
      October 27, 2015 at 10:45 pm

      Haha I know EXACTLY how you feel! It is like having a second child isn’t it??

  10. The Speed Bump
    November 7, 2015 at 10:46 pm

    I LOVE this, so funny! We don’t have a dog (I wish we did) but I found this so funny, love it! #KCACOLS
    The Speed Bump recently posted…Student Parent BudgetingMy Profile

    1. Mum in Brum
      November 11, 2015 at 3:14 pm

      Thanks so much, glad you enjoyed it! I sometimes wish we didn’t have a dog either but I love him really 🙂

  11. Coombe Mill - Fiona Cambouropoulos
    November 7, 2015 at 11:12 pm

    Great post, I think our cat would write the same post! #KCACOLS
    Coombe Mill – Fiona Cambouropoulos recently posted…Rudolph and the PumpkinMy Profile

    1. Mum in Brum
      November 11, 2015 at 3:16 pm

      Haha, probably! Thanks for stopping by 🙂

  12. Jessica Powell
    November 8, 2015 at 12:42 am

    Haha, I loved this – especially the reminder that they are actually a dog! 😀 Our dog Ebony died when Marianna was about 3 months, but before that she just seemed totally bemused by her! We ended up getting another dog not too long after and she seems to think that she and the baby are actually twin sisters or something. If one’s having a cuddle, the other has to too, if one has something to eat, the other does too, etc, etc! #KCACOLS
    Jessica Powell recently posted…Milk is CoolMy Profile

    1. Mum in Brum
      November 11, 2015 at 3:18 pm

      Yep, I totally get you – it is literally like having two children!

  13. Maria @ Suburban Mum
    November 8, 2015 at 9:41 pm

    Oh I love this post! Brings back memories of our greyhound that we had when I first had my eldest. Our greyhound was our “dog baby” before we had E and it was quite the transition for us all when we brought him home. I found it quite tough to look after a newborn baby and a dog in those early days and she (the dog) did miss out on some walks to begin with. Very sadly she had a stroke when E was just 6 months old but I know he absolutely adored and loved watching her. In the early days they would both lie on the living room rug together which was very sweet. I have a cherished photo of the two of them where the dog nudged herself onto E’s playmat because obviously that was more comfortable than her own bed! 😉

    Thanks so much for linking up at #KCACOLS. Hope you come back again next Sunday! x
    Maria @ Suburban Mum recently posted…Am I a Tiger Mum?My Profile

    1. Mum in Brum
      November 11, 2015 at 3:22 pm

      Ah so sorry to hear that you lost your dog, they really are part of the family and it must’ve been hard to say goodbye. I totally agree that those early days were hard though – going out for a quick dog walk is never every quick when you have a baby. I find that part of my day is planned around Taylor and the other half is planned around Max! 🙂

  14. Mommy's Little Princesses
    November 8, 2015 at 11:12 pm

    This is such a sweet and witty post. I particularly like how you blatantly point out to Max that he is a dog lol. xx #KCACOLS
    Mommy’s Little Princesses recently posted…Unrealistic expectations….My Profile

    1. Mum in Brum
      November 11, 2015 at 3:25 pm

      Glad you enjoyed it! If only Max understood me hehe xx

  15. Claire at Tin Box Traveller
    November 9, 2015 at 7:32 pm

    Brilliant. Yes, we had Tin Box Dog before our babies came along. She wasn’t best pleased about Tin Box Tot but Tin Box Baby was less of a shock to the system. Now she can see a few benefits; food falling from the sky being one of them 🙂 #KCACOLS
    Claire at Tin Box Traveller recently posted…We’re moving to DartmouthMy Profile

    1. Mum in Brum
      November 11, 2015 at 3:58 pm

      Haha, yep Taylor is definitely starting to grow on Max – exactly for that reason! Fickle creatures aren’t they?? 🙂

  16. Charlotte
    November 12, 2015 at 8:45 am

    This is so lovely! I hope max perks up soon when he realises he’s got a friend for life in Taylor , in the mean time he’ll just have to be stroppy because neither of them are going anywhere hahaha Thanks for sharing #KCACOLS
    Charlotte recently posted…Leftover Egg Yolk RecipesMy Profile

  17. Mumisthewordblog
    November 12, 2015 at 11:00 am

    What a brilliant post. My little girl is very over friendly with our cat. Luckily, he doesn’t mind! #KCAKOLS

  18. Kim
    March 1, 2016 at 5:25 pm

    I don’t normally comment on blogs but I have to say, I LOVE this post and LOL’d more than a few times. My husband and I have a cocker spaniel – we’re soon to be first time parents with our baby due to arrive next month. I’ve been a bit worried about how we’re going to cope with a dog that normally likes to bark in the middle of the night when he hears strange things – I have no idea what he’s going to be like when he hears a crying baby! He also absolutely loves his walks and is an excitable little monkey without them. Would love to know more about how you coped with the dog and baby in the early weeks. x

  19. […] tea breaks are a must for me. I also go for a walk twice a day thanks to our dog Max. Some days I begrudge it, but I do find that a little time out can help you to return to work with […]

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