#UsAfterYou – featuring New Mummy Blog

#UsAfterYou relationships after children

Welcome to the second edition in the ‘#UsAfterYou guest post series – where I ask some of my favourite bloggers what having a baby/babies has meant for their relationship. I’m delighted to introduce Lynne from New Mummy Blog this week – which will be the last in the series until the new year.

I first came across Lynne’s Blog due to us both having baby daughters of a similar age, but I’ve come to really enjoy her funny parenting observations and her honest approach to her blog posts – there’s a sincere stream of consciousness in her writing which I love. So, without further ado, here’s New Mummy Blog’s #UsAfterYou guest post which will have you booking a table for dinner and rushing out to buy olives.

I had a lovely email from Natalie at Mum in Brum about her new guest post series #UsAfterYou. This was such great timing as baby H had just turned one, and so given we’ve been reflecting on the last year so much, it’s also lovely to look back at the past year and think about how hubby and I have changed since becoming a family of three.

One of the main ways our life has changed is we can’t go out on a spur of the moment for a dinner date. There have been three stages to our evenings since H was born:

  1. Little baby – probably three weeks in: We went out for dinner loads, a couple of times a week. Well, she was a newborn and she slept loads. It was great, we thought “nothing’s changed”, how we were in for a shock!
  2. Suddenly at three months, H NEEDED to go to bed, she screamed the house down if she wasn’t taken up to her crib, if she didn’t hear her mobile playing (which calmed her straight away) and see Ewan the sheep. Ewan was turned on and quick as a flash she was calm smiling and snoring. Hubby and I didn’t know what had hit us, we had our evenings to ourselves, no little baby asleep in our arms or the bouncer. No little cooing sounds. Just us and the TV and Netflix. So there were no dinners out, but instead we had yummy dinners in, snuggled on the sofa, becoming immersed in whatever TV series we could.

    3. So that’s where we’ve been since around three months, rarely going out for dinner, but at one year, that’s all changing! We’ve decided that as H loves eating with us (and stealing our food), it’s time to brave the going-out-for-dinner-world again WOOHOOOOOO! We’ve been twice so far (yes, twice in two weeks!!) and it’s gone REALLY well! Yes, H needs a bit of a walk between main course and desserts. Yes, she wants to eat everything we have. Yes, she loves it! So, all new mummies out there, you might think you can’t go out for dinner, but you will be able to soon!

So, we’ve established we can have date night again, just with a twist: the addition of our little munching monster.

#UsAfterYou, relationships after children

Us Before You

What else have we done to be ‘us’? Mostly date nights at home, but the following helps:

Good food
  • Having a cupboard stocked with olives, olive tapanade and sun-dried tomatoes
  • A Camembert baker… come on who doesn’t love cheese, and, I also love that hubby and I have dinner dates at home: 3 courses with foods we might have if we were out
  • Waitrose meals deals – the meal deals at Waitrose are often a bit different, and always absolutely yummy – and best of all throw-it-in-the-oven dinner dates are brilliant with a little baby, when you’re really shattered
Entertainment

We’ve traded nice restaurants, along with theatre and cinema trips for:

  • Amazon Prime/Netflix subscription and box sets like Modern Family. We love to get into a TV series and have a good laugh, so this is something we’ve loved – Modern Family is our favourite series at the moment. Seriously, this is essential for new parents.
  • Painting…Ok, this is one I wouldn’t recommend to everyone as it’s rather stressful…but buying a new house and decorating. We THRIVE on this. We walked into so many houses and walked straight back out again. Living where we do, it’s not cheap, but the extreme lack of houses recently has driven prices up crazily. Houses were jumping 50k in the space of months (well between the first buyer falling through and it coming back on the market). Ultimately on finding our forever home, we were both taken and excited to start turning it into ours, and make it Baby H’s home to grow up in.
  • ‘Us time’ – well this is essential, yes we need an ‘early’ night. Well lets face it, it’s what we did before the little one came along!
  • Watching baby’s TV programmes… the number of conversations that now revolve around Hey Duggee, Iggle Piggle and Mr Tumble is incredible.
  • Oh and a joint hatred for Mr Tumble! Who’s with us????
Our thinking
  • We love seeing wee H’s giggles and shrieks, her determination, her speed-crawling and her first steps. We’re in this adventure together, we’re watching out little person, who 12 months ago couldn’t do anything but poo, cry and feed. We’re encouraging her together, it’s teamwork.
  • We’re determined to go out for dinner
  • We’re SUPER excited for our delayed anniversary at Bath Spa next year, with a night in a hotel on our own!!!
  • We can’t wait to show H everything we love: hill walking, ski-ing, swimming, and fun holidays
  • Mr Tumble is just weird…. how can you not agree?
Us after you

Us After You

Our common interest
  • We had loads of common interests before baby came along, a love of mystery crime novels, walking, holidays, travelling…. the list goes on.
  • However, now, we have our mini-person, our little girl who is the funniest, cutest most special person there is. We both love her to the moon and back. We both want the best for her.
  • Yes, we’ll buy the safest car seat, the cutest jumpers, and be tempted by any toy she shows an interest in, but we also love spending time with her as a family.

    We share knowing looks between us as Baby H does something to amuse us, or throws a tantrum. We share the most wonderful feeling with huge excited grins as she masters a new skill or says a new word. We have her, and she gives us so much enjoyment, we really can’t believe it.

‘In’ jokes

I guess we had in jokes between the two of us before, but now they include…

  • uh-oh …. hubby says it at work, I think it when I can’t find a parking space, or if I drop something. The background: baby H says uh-oh all the time, she got slightly carried away with it and says it if anything goes wrong or cruicially, if she’s about to do something like drop her dinner on the floor 🙂 Seriously, she’s hilarious!
  • Hi Da – this is hello daddy – she gets super excited hearing his key in the door and starts repeating quietly dadadadadada. She’s just unbelievably cute. Hubby then tries to sneak through the house to find her and pop his head around the door to see her huge grin when she actually sees him. Ok, this isn’t really an in joke, but it’s something we mention daily, and laugh about. It’s something ‘we have’.

So for the next few years we won’t be staying in a water bungalow in the Maldives, trekking South America, or seeing the Sydney Harbour Bridge, but fingers crossed we’ll be off at least to America next year or the year after. In the meantime we’ll keep bonding over how odd Mr Tumble is, eating copious amounts of olives and as of two weeks ago, going out for dinner again….. Excited? We sure are!

Now, getting back to our common interest…. if you don’t find Mr Tumble weird, please please please tell me what we’re missing???

 

You can follow New Mummy Blog on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram and Pinterest.

If you’d like to write a guest post for the #UsAfterYou series, please feel free to drop me an email at muminbrumblog@gmail.com.

Keep Calm and Carry On Linking Sunday

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15 Comment

  1. New Mummy Blog
    December 19, 2015 at 9:35 am

    Thank you so much Natalie for such kind words and for asking me to be part of your series. I loved writing this and also picking the photos x

    1. Mum in Brum
      December 22, 2015 at 9:59 pm

      Thanks for taking part Lynne! It’s a great post and one I’m sure many parents will relate to! x

  2. Becky (@EducatingR)
    December 20, 2015 at 8:16 pm

    Aww this was great. What a lovely idea for a post. It’s important to remember what you were like pre-baby. I feel a bit disconnected from my hubby at the moment. We haven’t had a date night since our anniversary in August and because he works 9:30 – 23:00 Tuesday to Saturday we rarely get time together. We have a night away in a week for my cousins wedding so I’m hoping that will bring us back together a little. #KCACOLS
    Becky (@EducatingR) recently posted…Christmas on Cloud 9My Profile

    1. Mum in Brum
      December 22, 2015 at 10:02 pm

      Hi Becky, it can be so difficult finding time for each other – we find it hard just because of our baby and general ‘life’ at the moment – so it must be super hard for you with your hubby working such long hours. I think a night away together is always a long time coming and sounds like it’s exactly what you need. Enjoy it! x

  3. Coombe Mill - Fiona Cambouropoulos
    December 21, 2015 at 5:24 pm

    It sounds to me like you are managing your adult couple life in with your new family life just perfectly. enjoy those meals out #MarvMondays & #KCALCOS

    1. Mum in Brum
      December 22, 2015 at 10:03 pm

      I agree! I think meals out are a must – at least if that’s what you did before children. Life definitely changes, but it shouldn’t stop you from doing everything – just going about it differently I think.

  4. Charlene
    December 23, 2015 at 10:04 pm

    This is so true! I love it because I’m super lazy so cozy nights in are my jam. I do miss the cinema though #MarvMondays
    Charlene recently posted…How do I know when I’m ready for baby two? – A Working Mum’s BlogMy Profile

    1. Mum in Brum
      January 18, 2016 at 7:48 pm

      I am so with you! I think the cinema is definitely the activity we miss the most – it doesn’t warrant getting a babysitter, so we never seem to go any more! So thankful for Netflix 🙂

  5. Mummuddlingthrough
    January 1, 2016 at 6:39 pm

    Thank God for Netflix 🙂 Lovely post Lynne, happy new year! Enjoy your date nights for three… Before the terrible twos hit! X
    Mummuddlingthrough recently posted…B-logging off for ChristmasMy Profile

  6. My Petit Canard
    January 2, 2016 at 11:48 pm

    Lovely post! I can relate to so much of this. Its great when you get to that place after becoming a family of three, or realising that you can find new ways of spending time together and being together. Sure many other parents will relate to this too, it brought a smile to my face :-). Thanks for linking up this guest post to #MarvMondays. Emily

  7. A Moment with Franca
    January 4, 2016 at 10:24 am

    This is a lovely post from Lynne!! It is so difficult to find yourself again after having a baby. Your life is not the same anymore and trying to find time to be with your partner is the most difficult part. We are finally getting to that stage. We were lucky to find a person that is great with my girls and my girls like her a lot so now Nick and I finally feel comfortable to leave our girls with someone else besides either of us!! We really trust her. This brings a lot of new opportunities for us to start spending some quality time together without the girls. It is starting to be a little bit more exciting!! Yaay! LOL Thanks for sharing this at #KCACOLS. As you know I have taken a little break from blogging but #KCACOLS will be back next Saturday 9th January so I would love to see you again!! I hope you had a great Xmas! Happy New Year lovely!! 🙂 xx
    A Moment with Franca recently posted…My UK Travel Bucket List for 2016My Profile

    1. Mum in Brum
      January 18, 2016 at 8:03 pm

      I completely agree – it is so difficult to find time for each other and in the first year or so its pretty impossible if you don’t have family around the corner to call on. As time has gone on we’ve managed to introduce a bit of romance and date nights in at weekends which have really helped. It’s great that you’ve found someone you can trust to have your girls and can start getting out together! Every couple deserves that. A belated Happy New Year! 🙂 xxx

  8. My #UsAfterYou Guest Post on Mum In Brum - New Mummy Blog
    February 1, 2016 at 9:38 pm

    […] This is the guest post which I wrote for Natalie at Mum in Brum’s guest post series #UsAfterYou… check it out over on her site here! […]

  9. February Bucket List - New Mummy Blog
    February 3, 2016 at 8:30 pm

    […] As I didn’t do one if these for January, I’ll also mention my guest post for the lovely Mum In Brum for her #UsBeforeYou series – check it out here! […]

  10. […] This is the post which I wrote for Natalie at Mum in Brum’s new guest post series #UsAfterYou… check it out over on her blog Mum In Brum! […]

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