#UsAfterYou – featuring Tin Box Traveller

having children

Happy New Year all! And welcome back to another post in the #UsAfterYou series, where I ask some of my favourite bloggers to share their experience of what having children has meant for their relationship. This week I’m thrilled to feature Claire who blogs about travel, days out and family fun over on her blog Tin Box Traveller. As a bit of a globe trotter in my previous ‘Before Child’ life, I love reading about Claire’s adventures and how their travels have adapted since having children to accommodate two small tots. I also really enjoy her regular ‘Travel Timehop’ feature, which often takes me back to somewhere I’ve visited myself, or (more often) gives me ideas for my ever-growing bucket list!

Tin Box Traveller Header

Until you have children it’s impossible to say how it’s going to affect your relationship. Whether you think it’s going to be just the same but with a couple of small hangers on or you anticipate life never being the same again, until it happens you just don’t know.

UsAfterYou Tin Box Traveller guest post - how having children changes relationships

We started our family after 13 years together so were used to it being ‘just us’. We had so much freedom, although we never really knew it.

There were plenty of spontaneous nights out, regular lay ins until after midday, and weekends where we just slobbed around the house. We didn’t have to plan our days or even our holidays in detail. We just did whatever took our fancy.

There was the time we went on a month-long camping trip around Europe and pitched our tent wherever we ended up each day. There were last minute getaways, luxury holidays and cosy cottage breaks. All good times and very different from the precision trip planning that now takes place before we can step foot outside the front door.

Just before Christmas we had a little reminder of our freedom before kids. Mr Tin Box has been away a lot during the past two months. So when he finished work for the year we persuaded the grandparents to have the girls for us while we booked a last minute spa break like the ‘good old days’.

In the space of 24 hours we ate four luxurious meals without wiping anyone’s nose in between mouthfuls. We browsed the shops until we had found everything on our list. And we didn’t have to stop once to sniff for soiled nappies or pants. Bliss!#UsAfterYou - how having children changes relationships

Did it make us rethink the family life we’d chosen? Of course not. There’s so many things in our relationship that have changed for the better. Here’s just a few:

We’ve decided to stay together

Mr TB is the Royal Navy and in the first year we were married he was home for about 12 weeks. He’s spent a lot of time away since then too. Sometimes in places like the Middle East where I couldn’t have gone with him but he’s also had a job in the UK where I could have. I decided to stay put for my job and friends. It made sense when there was just two of us, but times change. In the past week we have made a big move from Hampshire to Devon because of Mr TB’s job. Being together is so much more important now that we have a family.

how having children changes relationships

We make the most of down time

Spare time used to get wasted down the pub. Now, when arguably we have less spare time than ever before, we make the most of every last minute and it’s made our lives richer. I have my blog and a much wider circle of friends, while Mr TB has taken up mountain biking and is in training for the 2016 London Marathon. I’m really not sure what we used to do with our days before we became parents.

Seeing the world through our kids’ eyes

This year in particular we started going places and doing things more for the kids benefit. Tin Box Tot has lapped up visits to the beach, farms and country parks. It’s been magical rediscovering the world through her eyes. Special occasions, like Christmas, seem to have so much more sparkle too. TBT understood what it was all about for the first time this year and it made the season so much more exciting for us all.

Discovering a different side to each other

I can’t speak for Mr TB but I’ve definitely discovered a different side to him. While I have taken on the practical role of making sure everyone is fed and changed at the right times, he has become the number one entertainer. He’s such a fun daddy, playing games, swinging the girls round and singing funny songs. The girls love it and I love him all the more for it.

While I can remember what life was like before our girls came along and enjoy the odd day or night being ‘just’ a couple again, I now can’t imagine us being any other way.

You can follow Claire on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest and Google+

How did having children change your relationship?

how children change relationships

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12 Comment

  1. Coombe Mill - Fiona Cambouropoulos
    January 4, 2016 at 11:00 am

    A lovely write up from a lovely family #MarvMondays

  2. Claire at Tin Box Traveller
    January 4, 2016 at 10:05 pm

    Thanks so much for featuring me Natalie. It seems particularly appropriate to share this post now because of our move to Dartmouth. It really is a new chapter in our lives that might not have happened if it wasn’t for our girls x
    Claire at Tin Box Traveller recently posted…New year, new home, new startsMy Profile

    1. Mum in Brum
      January 18, 2016 at 8:09 pm

      No problem Claire, thanks for such a great post! I think when you have kids you think about everything that you won’t be able to do anymore, but never think about or realise all of the opportunities they will bring. I hope you’re enjoying your new home and life in Dartmouth xx

  3. My Petit Canard
    January 10, 2016 at 12:36 pm

    Such a lovely post, it sounds like your days are filled with lots of fun,laughter and joy. Who would have it any other way?! :-). Thanks for linking up to #MarvMondays. Emily

    1. Mum in Brum
      January 18, 2016 at 8:13 pm

      Having kids really does add another perspective to life doesn’t it? I for one find that I don’t take myself so seriously these days! As you say, who would have it any other way? 🙂

  4. Talya
    January 14, 2016 at 2:08 pm

    Love this series – so nice to hear what Claire had to say on the subject and looking forward to being on it soon myself! Thanks for linking this up to #coolmumclub chick x
    Talya recently posted…Welcome to the #coolmumclub…week 12!My Profile

    1. Mum in Brum
      January 18, 2016 at 8:19 pm

      Thanks Talya, there have been some really great posts so far – I’m looking forward to featuring you! xx

  5. helen
    January 14, 2016 at 8:05 pm

    firstly, can i say what a beautifully written post – I was drawn in from the very beginning and just loved the content. I can’t imagine how hard it is for you at times being on your own so much – what an amazing mummy you are! I loved the part about seeing a different side to your husband after children – you’re so right and it really does make you love them even more for it. Thank you for sharing and for all those beautiful personal photos. Happy Thursday #coolmumclub x

    1. Mum in Brum
      January 18, 2016 at 8:22 pm

      I agree Helen – it is a great post from Claire and she does so well to manage when on her own. Love conquers all, as they say! 🙂 x

  6. Nikki Frank-Hamilton
    January 16, 2016 at 2:43 am

    I love this series, it’s so cool to see and hear how others do it/did it. I can’t even imagine how much this couple’s life changed, after 13 years together just the two of them. They make a lovely family and I really enjoy their story, but 13 years is a long time! LOL I enjoy learning about relationships and families too, and it really struck me when Claire said it was amazing to see life through her child’s eyes, that it made everything exciting and new again. That is the coolest!
    Nikki Frank-Hamilton recently posted…#WAYWOW Social Media Blast #3My Profile

    1. Mum in Brum
      January 18, 2016 at 8:31 pm

      I know, 13 years is a long time! I guess you know everything there is to know about each other after that long. I think having kids obviously does change things in a relationship, but after the initial sleepless nights, they do bring so much fun and enjoyment to everyday situations. x

  7. helen gandy
    January 16, 2016 at 7:57 pm

    Awww what a lovely post! I love hearing more about the bloggers behind their blogs 🙂 Thanks for sharing and linking up to the #bestandworst x

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