It’s time for another guest post in the series #UsAfterYou, where I ask some of my favourite bloggers to reveal how having children changed their relationship. This week it’s Franca from the brilliant A Moment With Franca. If you haven’t checked out her blog yet, it’s a must for family fun, honest product reviews and great giveaways. She also hosts the fabulous #KCACOLS linky every Sunday – hands down one of my favourites of the week. Over to Franca…
When Nick and I got married we knew that we wanted to have kids straight away and one of the reasons for that was because we were already in our 30’s and were both ready to start a family. We were not together for long before we married, but we started our relationship being good friends so that really helped us later because we knew each other very well, which made it easier to set aside the goals we wanted to achieve as a couple. One of those goals was to start a family after one year of being married.
This meant that we were going to step into parenthood knowing what was going to happen and we were ready for what was coming. Well at least this is what we thought. We were determined to have a balance between us as a couple and us as parents. We still wanted to keep aside some time for us and we didn’t want to get absorbed by the parenthood life.
Well this is very easy to say, we were just naive to think that we were able to achieve this. Even though we were conscious that we needed to be strong and try to keep that wish but things weren’t that simple. Actually, it was very difficult to keep a balance especially in the first years after having a baby.
We have two girls, Bella who is 5 years old and Sienna who is 17 months old. They have a gap of four years so you can imagine that when Bella was 4 years old and Sienna was not born, she was going full time to nursery and our lives were much better because we were starting to reach a better balance again. We actually got a few dates during that time. Not many really as I was always very worried to leave Bella with a babysitter so we never had that. We were only able to perhaps go to the movies or have a meal out if Nick’s parents or brother were around to help, or if we were visiting them. Our time out as a couple was limited but when we had them we enjoyed them a lot.
When we thought we were finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, it went away as we then had Sienna. For the second time, we were there dealing with everything that involved having a little baby again. How is it possible, now knowing all the things involved with being a parent, we then decided to have another child? Are we crazy? Mmm yes we are LOL!
We all know that behind all the trouble that we live through, there is so much love that we receive from these two little terrors, that makes all of this worth it. I may sound like a cliche but I wouldn’t change these experiences for anything in the world! It is part of being an adult, and a parent, and part of living life! They are our reason to keep going, our reason to have new goals and our reason to keep alive.
This time around we were not that afraid of leaving Sienna with others. We wanted to try new things and enjoy our time all together as a family. We do go out a lot which is also very nice. I love watching Nick being a dad and seeing all the love that they (Nick and the girls) have for each other. I love being able to watch my family grow, it is just so beautiful. We have someone now that helps us with Sienna and Bella so Nick and I can attend events or just go out and have a date. It is just so nice to be able to go out and enjoy each other’s company and forget for at least one minute that we have kids!!!
Now that we know for sure that we will have only two girls and that there will be no more baby production FOREVER, we can finally start planning a new chapter in our lives as a family and as a couple. I really would like to start enjoying every single minute of being a mum. Also, something which is not less important but actually indeed VERY important: I would like to to be able to enjoy being A WIFE again!
Now that Sienna is settling at nursery and Bella is at school, I can finally have some time to reorganise my life. I would like to set some nights aside for just Nick and I. JUST US!! I will make this a plan for each month. I hope I can manage to do that! WISH ME LUCK!!
What about you? Did you also feel your life change after having kids? What things did you used to do before kids that you miss now that you have kids?