#UsAfterYou – Featuring Motherhood: The Real Deal

Motherhood: The Real Deal

Welcome to another guest post in the #UsAfterYou – the series where I get nosy and ask some of my favourite bloggers to divulge what having kids has meant for their relationship. When I launched the series I wasn’t sure how it would go down and if people would ‘get it’ – but apparently it’s a topic we all have something to say about! Thanks so much to all of my fabulous guest bloggers so far and to those of you who keep coming back for a read – it’s great to see all of your comments. If you’d like to submit a guest post yourself do drop me an email/tweet me and come join in!

If you haven’t been following the series, go make yourself a brew and get comfy as this week I’m delighted to feature Talya from the hilariously candid Motherhood: The Real Deal. If you love honest, laugh out loud commentary on all things parenting then Talya’s your girl. Her blog posts will have you chortling from start to finish and you’ll always feel better about any parenting misgivings you may think you have after a click on her blog. Read on! 

Motherhood: The Real Deal blog

I have to admit, that before having a baby, a child, you know – bringing an entity into this world I thought that it would be the ultimate expression of love between me and my partner, the most amazingly romantic, giddyingly exciting thing we could possibly do together.


Sorry about that, I just had to go back and give my pregnant self a slap in the face.

Having a baby is absolutely, categorically, without question the hardest challenge our relationship has had to go through yet.  And what better way to sum that up, then to write a little ditty on the pressing matter:Motherhood: The Real Deal guest blog post

You thought it would be so amazing, the ultimate expression of love

To bring a little human, into this world, who you would treat with kid gloves

But after the initial glow has faded, you realise with quite some dread

That having a baby – for your relationship at least – is NOT the best thing since sliced bread


The sleep deprivation makes you want to kill him

The constant treadmill makes you want to poke him in the eye

And as for a bit of hanky panky

Well, you’d honestly rather get some shut eye

Motherhood: The Real Deal

You’ve forgotten those moments of special merriment

You used to enjoy together, just you two

Because now your world is filled with bottles, and smelly nappies

And other things that make you want to spew


Meanwhile your significant other

Has been downgraded from the apple of your eye

To some punchbag that seems to get it

When the baby has been keeping you up all night


You look at each other and wonder

Who is this person I am with?

They’re not the person I remember

They seem to have turned into a div


But after many months, and possibly years of befuddlement

Somewhere along the road you’ll find

A new way of making your relationship work

Although not as exciting as once upon a time

Motherhood: The Real Deal

You’ll desperately scrape around for date nights

And perhaps some nooky before his pecker turns blue

Things perhaps are not so hot as they once were

But mummy and daddy will have to make do


In all the knocks and changes delivered

To your relationship – if it can survive

Your love will eventually take another turn

(And you hope) will stand the test of baby time

You can follow Motherhood: The Real Deal on Twitter, Facebook and Pinterest.

Motherhood: The Real Deal guest blogger


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28 Comment

  1. Coombe Mill - Fiona Cambouropoulos
    January 30, 2016 at 10:52 pm

    A beautiful guest post so well written, such exciting times for Motherhood the real deal #KCACOLS

  2. Robyn
    January 31, 2016 at 9:28 am

    This was a fun read, a bit of departure from the normal format! I have to agree with your conclusion Talya – relationships take some hard knocks when baby comes along but hopefully the dust will settle and we’ll come out the other side different but sill partners in everything. #kcacols
    Robyn recently posted…LOVELY THINGS ABOUT BABIES (OR, THINGS I MISS)My Profile

    1. Mum in Brum
      February 3, 2016 at 2:42 pm

      I agree Robyn – there’s nothing like a baby to test how well you actually get on! x

  3. Someone's Mum
    January 31, 2016 at 1:09 pm

    Haha! Great work. I am often the odd one out on this topic though as I genuinely don’t think my relationship changed at all when we had kids. We had already been together a very long time and, although we are busier and so it is harder to make time for each other, everything else was pretty much as before. Maybe it’s because we are both teachers and in some respects that’s kinda like having kids already?! 😉 Ha. Still, very well written and amusing post. And I always love a poem 🙂 #KCACOLS

    1. Mum in Brum
      February 3, 2016 at 2:39 pm

      Haha, I think there must definitely be something in that you’re both teachers! We on the other hand had very little interaction with babies and kids before having our own, so those first months were quite a shock! But I’d say we’re pretty much back to how we were before now that we’re getting a full night’s sleep again! It’s amazing what sleep deprivation can do 😉

  4. wendy
    February 1, 2016 at 6:13 pm

    Love this! All very true and love that it in poem form. I look forward to these posts every week, it’s nice to find out how other people’s relationships have changed because I know mine definitely has xx #kcacols
    wendy recently posted…5 blog posts all new bloggers should readMy Profile

    1. Mum in Brum
      February 3, 2016 at 2:32 pm

      Hi Wendy, so nice to hear that you’re enjoying the series! I think it’s a topic most people can relate to – I’m loving hearing what everyone has to say! xx

  5. Claire at Tin Box Traveller
    February 1, 2016 at 9:19 pm

    This is fantastic! I think every mum and dad can relate to this entreating (because it’s SOOOO true) ditty 🙂 #KCACOLS

    1. Mum in Brum
      February 3, 2016 at 2:30 pm

      All of us at some point have definitely thought our partner is a div – and I’m sure it works both ways! 🙂 x

  6. A Moment with Franca
    February 2, 2016 at 12:42 pm

    Another great guest post for your series. Talya has written a beautiful poem about the truth of what happens to our relationships after having kids!! We can all relate to this for sure. Thanks so much for sharing this at #KCACOLS, 🙂 x
    A Moment with Franca recently posted…Braving a BBQ in WinterMy Profile

  7. […] on the #UsAfterYou guest post series, Chloe shared some of the fun dates she and her partner went on to reintroduce […]

  8. helen
    February 3, 2016 at 9:36 am

    I love Talya’s posts – love her style and agree with so much of what she says. The baby stages and toddlers have a huge impact on a relationship but if you can survive these stages without killing each other once they get older (mine are teenagers) it gets so so much easier – sleep is less interrupted – which helps masses – and toddler tantrums decline (as did mine!!) and all is hunky dory – here’s hoping everyone else gets there smoothly too #bestandworst Happy Wednesday x
    helen recently posted…Excuse me, I have to go be awesome …My Profile

    1. Mum in Brum
      February 3, 2016 at 2:27 pm

      I think we’re at the blissful inbetween stage of having got through the baby months, but we don’t quite have the full toddler wrath yet. I’m enjoying the amount of sleep I’m getting but am fully expecting a different set of challenges to start soon (Taylor’s now 13 months)…I guess we never stop learning with kids and as you say, if we can get through those with our partners then we will be hopefully be stronger because of it in the end! x

  9. Mommy's Little Princesses
    February 3, 2016 at 2:25 pm

    Such a beautifully written piece, that highlights all the strains having a baby can have on a relationship! Xx#KCACOLS
    Mommy’s Little Princesses recently posted…Baby it’s cold outside….My Profile

  10. Sarah Howe (@RunJumpScrap)
    February 3, 2016 at 8:36 pm

    tehe funny and true. I don’t think my relationship took too much of a knock to be fair…but my daughter wasn’t a bad sleeper. On the days we do have bad nights…we are grumpy as hell. Lol. Thanks for sharing with #bestandworst x
    Sarah Howe (@RunJumpScrap) recently posted…Best and Worst Week #36My Profile

  11. Emma
    February 4, 2016 at 9:41 am

    Haha as usual spot on from Tayla but loving the new poem form! #brilliantblogposts

  12. Talya
    February 4, 2016 at 9:47 am

    Thanks so much for having me on the series and thanks for all the lovely comments everyone! x
    Talya recently posted…Welcome to the #coolmumclub…week 15!My Profile

  13. Agent Spitback
    February 4, 2016 at 11:08 am

    Ah, loved this post. SO honest, real and real! Talya has a real way with words!

    This is a lovely series, Natalie! #coolmumclub
    Agent Spitback recently posted…A Bullshit Fairy Tale for Mothers- Mothering BeautyMy Profile

  14. Talya
    February 4, 2016 at 12:52 pm

    Back again from #coolmumclub thanks for linking this up! x
    Talya recently posted…Welcome to the #coolmumclub…week 15!My Profile

  15. Mrs Tubbs
    February 4, 2016 at 12:54 pm

    What a fantastic idea for a series! Great post, really honest and real. 🙂

  16. This Mum's Life
    February 4, 2016 at 2:00 pm

    Another brilliant, spot on post from Talya! I couldn’t believe the change to our relationship when the babies came along… And I missed that closeness to my husband so much, I almost wondered why we’d done it (awful I know.) Things are just starting to get back to some kind of normality now, but will never be like it was! We will just have to slowly adapt to the permanent changes!
    This Mum’s Life recently posted…The Return Of RaisinsMy Profile

  17. MMT
    February 4, 2016 at 9:37 pm

    Fab post Talya! Or should that be Nat?!
    You both Rock…two of my fave bloggers in one lovely post!

  18. New Mummy Blog
    February 4, 2016 at 10:08 pm

    What really great writing and so different. Tayla has really got to the crux of this huge change in our lives. Fab post and love this series Mrs #coolmumclub
    New Mummy Blog recently posted…#TheBabyFormula 2016 Week 5My Profile

  19. Julie Downes
    February 5, 2016 at 10:27 pm

    A great little ditty, so true! #KCACOLS
    Julie Downes recently posted…Fresh air at Devils Punch BowlMy Profile

  20. Clare
    February 6, 2016 at 12:05 pm

    Fantastic post from Tayla as always! I actually love the boxing gloves picture! Great series Nat! Will have to pull my finger out and get in touch about guest posting for you 🙂 #KCACOLS xx
    Clare recently posted…Wicked Wednesday 3rd FebruaryMy Profile

    1. Mum in Brum
      February 8, 2016 at 9:35 pm

      Yes Clare you definitely should! I’ll drop you an email xx

  21. Nikki Frank-Hamilton
    February 7, 2016 at 10:01 pm

    I love this, it made me laugh while remembering the hard times with a new baby, and of course the toddler years. I wouldn’t change it for the world, love the kids, and I’ve loved growing as parents together! One good thing, we were both too tired to really miss much when the kids were young, all we wanted to do was sleep! LOL

    1. Mum in Brum
      February 8, 2016 at 9:22 pm

      Haha, yep I definitely feel like that most weeks! Luckily we get a full night’s sleep now, which definitely makes you a lot nicer to each other! of course, we have all of the toddler years to look forward to yet! 😉

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