Welcome to another guest post for #UsAfterYou – the series where I ask some of my fellow bloggers how having a baby impacted their relationship.
This week I’m thrilled to have Jodie from Makeup to Motherhood. Her blog has a fantastic range of parenting posts and beauty tips. As a parenting blogger I obviously spend a lot of time reading parenting posts, but don’t tend to follow too many beauty bloggers. So I love it when I come across one of Jodie’s practical beauty posts which always make me want to indulge in a little more ‘me time’ or go and invest in some new makeup!
It seems to be common knowledge among Mums that your relationship will go through some major changes after having a child and I guess to some extent that’s true. But for me, my marriage and my family I definitely would not say that the change has been negative.
My husband and I have been together since high school and to say we have been through a lot in the past 10 years is an understatement.
Aged 16 our relationship had survived high school and we then dealt with moving to separate sixth forms and colleges. Aged 17 our relationship survived a year long stretch of major surgeries, seeing me wheelchair bound for a whole year unable to do the very basic things for myself. Aged 18 our relationship survived my husband (then boyfriend) moving away to university and me starting my career. Age 20 my husband stood by my side through a bought of serious mental illness and again helped me through every single day.
The point of this is not only that we have been through a lot for a couple so young – although that may be true – but that our relationship was and still is a strong one. A relationship built on trust, truth and an overwhelming amount of support and understanding through even the toughest of times.
Fast forward 2 years and our love had resulted in a beautiful spring wedding and gave us the gift of our beautiful baby girl in my belly.
Throughout my pregnancy, I was told countless times that once my daughter arrived our relationship would become strained – and when I answered with something along the lines of “no we will be fine, we are a team” I was often met with raised eyebrows or a roll of the eyes.
My daughter is now one year old and my husband and I are about to celebrate 10 years together.
Sure, a lot has changed this past year. I now get much less sleep and am often so busy I feel as though my head may pop off at any given moment. And my husband; well he works like crazy to build a life for us and our daughter and gets up stupidly early just so he can be home early to spend quality time with both myself and our daughter.
Has my relationship suffered, or become strained? No. It hasn’t.
We are busier than ever and have a whole host of responsibilities that previously we didn’t have to give a second thought to, but we still support each other through each and every day and honestly, I don’t really feel as if our relationship has changed very much at all. We simply have three of us instead of two to laugh with and love.
I know for sure that the reason we are so solid as a couple is because of our past. Yes sleepless nights and screaming newborns are not exactly fun, but we have been through worse and our daughter is a blessing to us – not a curse.
Over the years, the very best moments of our relationship have not been extravagant weekends away or crazy nights out, they have been the quiet times. The times where we are reminded how deep our love runs and that knowledge that nothing in this world is strong enough to shake us. So although our date nights and baby-free days are very few and far between, it doesn’t matter. We are still happy and we still laugh together every single day.
After 10 years spent with my husband I know for certain that our love is built to last. Having our daughter in our life has shown us we are capable of loving in an even deeper way than either of us knew was possible and that in itself has made our relationship better. Now when I look into my husbands eyes I see the first year of our daughters life and all that we have accomplished together and I am reminded of how lucky we are.
And even better than that – my husband has proven that he is not only capable of loving me in this way, but also our daughter. I am so proud of what an amazing Dad he has become. Some days I swear he’s doing a better job than me.
So for any expectant parents out there who are worried about their relationship post-baby, I say as long as you have a solid foundation and know and trust each other you may just surprise yourself and find that you’re even closer than you were before!
It is definitely possible to keep the magic alive as parents – we just have to try a little harder and be sure to make our relationships a priority too!
Did having a baby affect your relationship? If you’d like to submit a guest blog post for the #UsAfterYou series, drop me a line – I’d love to have you! x