The other night we had some friends around for dinner. We got on to the topic of Valentine’s Day and what we had done for each other to mark the occasion…
Now, let me start by saying that I have a fantastic husband who is loving and kind and everything that I’d want him to be, and I don’t want you to think bad of him. Really I don’t.
But I’m sure he won’t mind me telling you (I hope) that he is utterly useless when it comes to remembering special days of the year. Unfortunately (for him) Valentine’s Day this year was one of those days that just ‘slipped his mind’. In his defense he had been away for the weekend, walked through the door at 4pm, took one look at me and declared “Shit! I forgot your flowers!”
I do believe him when he tells me that he had all good intentions of stopping off somewhere on his journey home to pick me up a bunch of flowers and scribble in a card from a service station.
And believe me when I say that would have made me very happy. I’m not demanding and I’m certainly not high maintenance. Big displays of affection and grand gestures make me feel uncomfortable. But a bunch of flowers would’ve made me beam.
He quickly tried to put right his wrong “I’ll go out now, and pick you some up”, to which I told him not to bother. “I’ll take us out for dinner tomorrow”, he said. But I said I didn’t want to go out for dinner “just for the sake of it”. I could tell that he was genuinely confused – surely dinner is better than a cheap bunch of flowers? He studied me to see if I meant it or not. Actually meant it. And we left it at that.
The thing is, I didn’t mean it really. Of course I wanted to go out for dinner the next day. But I wanted him to tell me to get ready, he’d booked somewhere and he’d arranged for someone to look after Taylor for the afternoon. And that would never have happened as he just simply wouldn’t have thought of it. What actually would’ve happened is he’d ask me where I wanted to go (because in his eyes, giving me the choice is the nice thing to do, surely?) and the occasion would’ve been no different to any other ordinary day out with Taylor in tow. I love my child, but there’s nothing like a baby demanding all of your attention to kill the romance.
So we didn’t go out for dinner and we didn’t discuss it until two days later when I woke up in the morning and realised that I still hadn’t had a card or a bunch of flowers (half the price now too). He looked genuinely exasperated when I brought it up again, “But you said not to bother?!”
My husband is straightforward and to the point. He doesn’t get why I’d say something that I didn’t mean. He doesn’t understand why I’d be upset about one day in the year when he’s lovely to me every single day other of the year.
And so back to our dinner party when we got onto the conversation and my (female) friend and I were trying to explain that us women really aren’t complicated and the conversation itself got quite complicated. I obviously don’t speak for all women, but here’s where I’m at…
I don’t want or need extravagant gifts (unless it’s really amazing and you’re absolutely certain I’ll like it)
Just buy me some flowers once in a while (but not too often as then I won’t appreciate them)
or surprise me with an evening out (but I’d like a bit of warning so that I can plan my outfit)
Or that trip to the theatre that I’ve been banging on about for the past five years (but let me choose the show)
A candlelit dinner in would be just as great (just make sure you don’t use that steak I was saving for the dinner party)
And bring me breakfast in bed the next morning (Try not to wake Taylor would you?)
So there you have it. I am living proof that women really aren’t complicated at all! Let’s hope he remembers Mother ‘s Day…(6th March if you’re reading this dear beloved one…)
Do you celebrate Valentine’s Day? What do you expect from your other half? Do you agree that women really aren’t complicated?