Are women really that complicated?

Are women complicated?

The other night we had some friends around for dinner. We got on to the topic of Valentine’s Day and what we had done for each other to mark the occasion…

Now, let me start by saying that I have a fantastic husband who is loving and kind and everything that I’d want him to be, and I don’t want you to think bad of him. Really I don’t.

But I’m sure he won’t mind me telling you (I hope) that he is utterly useless when it comes to remembering special days of the year. Unfortunately (for him) Valentine’s Day this year was one of those days that just ‘slipped his mind’. In his defense he had been away for the weekend, walked through the door at 4pm, took one look at me and declared “Shit! I forgot your flowers!”

I do believe him when he tells me that he had all good intentions of stopping off somewhere on his journey home to pick me up a bunch of flowers and scribble in a card from a service station.

women really aren't complicated

And believe me when I say that would have made me very happy. I’m not demanding and I’m certainly not high maintenance. Big displays of affection and grand gestures make me feel uncomfortable. But a bunch of flowers would’ve made me beam.

He quickly tried to put right his wrong “I’ll go out now, and pick you some up”, to which I told him not to bother. “I’ll take us out for dinner tomorrow”, he said. But I said I didn’t want to go out for dinner “just for the sake of it”. I could tell that he was genuinely confused – surely dinner is better than a cheap bunch of flowers? He studied me to see if I meant it or not. Actually meant it. And we left it at that.

The thing is, I didn’t mean it really. Of course I wanted to go out for dinner the next day. But I wanted him to tell me to get ready, he’d booked somewhere and he’d arranged for someone to look after Taylor for the afternoon. And that would never have happened as he just simply wouldn’t have thought of it. What actually would’ve happened is he’d ask me where I wanted to go (because in his eyes, giving me the choice is the nice thing to do, surely?) and the occasion would’ve been no different to any other ordinary day out with Taylor in tow. I love my child, but there’s nothing like a baby demanding all of your attention to kill the romance.

So we didn’t go out for dinner and we didn’t discuss it until two days later when I woke up in the morning and realised that I still hadn’t had a card or a bunch of flowers (half the price now too). He looked genuinely exasperated when I brought it up again, “But you said not to bother?!”

My husband is straightforward and to the point. He doesn’t get why I’d say something that I didn’t mean. He doesn’t understand why I’d be upset about one day in the year when he’s lovely to me every single day other of the year.

And so back to our dinner party when we got onto the conversation and my (female) friend and I were trying to explain that us women really aren’t complicated and the conversation itself got quite complicated. I obviously don’t speak for all women, but here’s where I’m at…

I don’t want or need extravagant gifts (unless it’s really amazing and you’re absolutely certain I’ll like it)

Just buy me some flowers once in a while (but not too often as then I won’t appreciate them)

or surprise me with an evening out (but I’d like a bit of warning so that I can plan my outfit)

Or that trip to the theatre that I’ve been banging on about for the past five years (but let me choose the show)

A candlelit dinner in would be just as great (just make sure you don’t use that steak I was saving for the dinner party)

And bring me breakfast in bed the next morning (Try not to wake Taylor would you?)

 

So there you have it. I am living proof that women really aren’t complicated at all! Let’s hope he remembers Mother ‘s Day…(6th March if you’re reading this dear beloved one…)

Do you celebrate Valentine’s Day? What do you expect from your other half? Do you agree that women really aren’t complicated? 

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19 Comment

  1. Emma
    February 24, 2016 at 9:18 am

    haha, yep women aren’t complicated at all. I just think that you have to spell that out for a man very slowly as they just don’t seem to get it! I’m like you, I would like a little something, like a meal out, but I don’t want to be the one to have to choose it and book it etc. I would like to be surprised with it as it shows that some thought has been put into it! #bestandworst
    Emma recently posted…Bribed into a home birth?My Profile

  2. John Adams
    February 24, 2016 at 1:37 pm

    Good grief, I’m sorry, but that does all sound rather complicated! I had the good sense to marry a Glaswegian. What they say is what they mean (often with colourful invective which I find most amusing). Alas, by consent of both parties, we simply don’t “do” Valentine’s Day. I cannot stand the sight of restaraunts, bursting at the seams and delivering poor service thanks to the huge numbers of diners. I’d rather ignore it altogether. Although my wife does get flowers from time to time without prompting. #sharewithme
    John Adams recently posted…Max Speed Motors: The world’s fastest cars (infographic)My Profile

    1. Mum in Brum
      February 29, 2016 at 2:05 pm

      Flowers without prompting every now and again would suit me absolutely fine – I may even be able to consent to not ‘doing’ Valentine’s if that was the case…From the sounds of it, my husband should probably have married a Glaswegian!

  3. Rebecca | AAUBlog
    February 24, 2016 at 5:10 pm

    your husband sounds like mine! He just doesn’t ‘get it’. A bunch of flowers can go a long way! x
    Rebecca | AAUBlog recently posted…The SS16 Pieces You Need to KnowMy Profile

    1. Mum in Brum
      February 29, 2016 at 2:08 pm

      Exactly! I’d be quite happy with a bunch of flowers – any will do! I’ve started buying them with my weekly shop these days as I’ve finally accepted that he’s never going to come through the door with any! x

  4. Jodie Allen at Makeup to Motherhood
    February 24, 2016 at 7:52 pm

    Haha, I think I am complicated, high maintenance and general pain in the bum! I try not to be… but sometimes I just am! Luckily I do have a very lovely husband who puts up with me anyway haha! #Sharewithme
    Jodie Allen at Makeup to Motherhood recently posted…Toddler Update: 13 MonthsMy Profile

    1. Mum in Brum
      February 29, 2016 at 2:00 pm

      Ha! I think I need to be higher maintenance and then he probably wouldn’t forget? I think he genuinely thinks I’m not that bothered but I think every woman is secretly 🙂 x

  5. The Mum Project - Meagan
    February 24, 2016 at 8:42 pm

    Ha ha ha, this is hilarious! Completely agree with you, we are not as complicated as they think. Just take me to a bar for a nice cocktail (but make sure it’s my favourite bar and he will choose the cocktail, if he gets it wrong I will be upset the whole night) ; ) #bestandworst

  6. The Mum Project - Meagan
    February 24, 2016 at 8:44 pm

    Ha ha ha this is hilarious! Completely agree women are not that complicated. Just take me to a bar for a nice cocktail (but make sure it’s my favourite bar and he will order my drink, if he gets it wrong I’ll be upset the whole night). ; ) Poor hubby. #bestandworst
    The Mum Project – Meagan recently posted…Hudson’s Time Capsule: 1 day to 1 monthMy Profile

  7. Esther @ Inside Out & About
    February 24, 2016 at 9:53 pm

    I would say I am pretty low maintenance, and I totally ‘get’ everything you are saying! I hate things for the sake of it, and I would hate it if he bought me something extravagant. We basically take it in turns – I said I’d cook for him this Valentine’s Day this year and make sure the kids were in bed early – we both forgot to give each other cards! But then he’ll plan a little something for our anniversary and we both try and remember to plan spontaneous outings! We were rubbish a few years ago, but now we are much better at organising ourselves! xx
    Esther @ Inside Out & About recently posted…Spring styleMy Profile

    1. Mum in Brum
      February 29, 2016 at 1:58 pm

      Ooh that’s a good idea – perhaps we should take it in turns and then he has less dates to remember! That’s great that you both plan spontaneous outings, hopefully once Taylor’s a little older and we can get a babysitter we will start to do a little more of that xx

  8. helen gandy
    February 24, 2016 at 10:05 pm

    We really aren’t complicated are we! My husband was very sweet and spoilt me lots but he isn’t always like that! Thanks for linking up #bestandworst
    helen gandy recently posted…Best and Worst Linky #39My Profile

    1. Mum in Brum
      February 29, 2016 at 1:57 pm

      I do find that it’s hit and miss with my hubby – hopefully he will pull out some stops for Mother’s Day (and then probably forget my birthday!) 🙂

  9. Mrs Tubbs
    February 25, 2016 at 5:15 pm

    We bought each other cards 🙂 We’re not big on that stuff. It is confusing though as everyone is different!

    1. Mum in Brum
      February 29, 2016 at 1:54 pm

      A card would’ve been lovely! Ha 🙂

  10. Nikki Frank-Hamilton
    March 1, 2016 at 3:03 am

    LOL! I feel so sorry for the men. We really aren’t complicated, but we are different, we think so different from them. I think that it doesn’t matter the size of the gift, it just matters that they think of getting us one. One that’s not an appliance, unless it’s asked for! LOL I think that’s the biggest secret to making us women feel like a Queen, or the love of their lives, it’s really not that complicated, is it?

  11. Jenny
    March 1, 2016 at 8:21 pm

    hahaha I love this not because you didn’t get your lovely flowers that I actually have spent many Valentine’s Day Mother’s Day and more like this myself. Luckily birthday is boxing day he can’t really forget it. lol Bless you we aren’t that complicated men are just too literal when we say don’t bother it really means don’t ask just do it even if it’s late. lol Men don’t get us that’s all. lol Great post. Thanks for linking up to Share With Me. #sharewithme
    Jenny recently posted…Introducing my Mother to the blogging & PandoraMy Profile

    1. Mum in Brum
      March 9, 2016 at 11:57 am

      Haha, I may get some large artwork for the kitchen with the slogan ‘don’t ask, just do it!’ Perhaps he’ll get the hint then?? He did remember Mother’s Day so I’ll cut him some slack now 🙂 x

  12. […] I picked up from Aldi this week – who knows, I may be getting a bigger bunch today…my husband’s track record of remembering special dates and buying me flowers isn’t a glowing one, but we can live in […]

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