#UsAfterYou – Featuring All About U

Welcome to another guest post for #UsAfterYou – the series where I ask some of my fellow bloggers what having children has meant for their relationship.

This week I’m delighted to have Rebecca from the great blog, All About U. I always find myself clicking onto Rebecca’s blog as I really relate to her posts. She covers a range of topics close to my own heart including parenting, travel and interiors. She also posts some great blogging tips from time to time, sharing some of what she’s learnt over the years since she first started out. 

All about U - #UsAfterYou series

Mr U and I had our first child, Max, the month before our 3rd wedding anniversary. We had always known that we wanted to have children so it just seemed like the right time in our relationship. Now, having just had our 7th anniversary (wow, I feel old) we have added one more child, Chloe (nearly 2), into the mix.

first date

On our first date

When we had Max, everything changed. I knew having kids was going to change some things, but as I’m sure a lot of you know, it is one of those things that if you’ve not experienced it, you just can’t fully understand it. It took a lot of adjustment and making a few changes in how we did things, though, it is a wonderful thing to see your other half become a parent.

our family

Mr U has really taken to his role as a father and I love seeing he and the kids all playing together. He is definitely the ‘fun’ parent, as I work from home, so the kids see much more of me so apparently, I’m boring… When he comes home from work each night, they just want to play with him and pile on him! I think sometimes he just wants to sit down and have his dinner haha!

As for our relationship, that of course did change after having children. When you are married or living with a partner, you need to make some compromise to be able to have a successful relationship I think. When you add children, there are more than just you two that you have to add into the equation and more compromise or changes. For us, it did take some adjustment. Still not perfect at it, I must admit! We had to get out of the ‘I just changed the last nappy so this one is yours’ mentality. For us, we have had to just get stuck in and do things as and when.

All About U blog

I have found that things aren’t really 50/50 in a relationship when you have children. Sometimes it is a bit more 70/30 for a time. Then things change and it swaps around. Particularly in the early days and learning to breastfeed, I felt like I was just doing everything! But that phase of life has now passed and we have settled into our roles better. We have both developed a lot more patience; for the children and each other.

We don’t have any family particularly close by, so date nights can be tricky if we don’t have a friend to babysit. So we make a special effort to make date nights at home extra special. It sounds silly but just having dinner by candlelight or making his favourite dessert, or (very occasionally) 😉 he walks in with a bunch of flowers. Just little things to let the other know that we love them.

Having children has changed us and our relationship, but from where I’m standing, it is only for the better.

You can follow Rebecca, All About U on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram Pinterest and Google+

our wedding day

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19 Comment

  1. Rebecca | AAUBlog
    February 29, 2016 at 1:29 pm

    thanks so much for sharing Natalie 🙂 xx
    Rebecca | AAUBlog recently posted…My Water Babies – Building Their Confidence in the WaterMy Profile

    1. Mum in Brum
      February 29, 2016 at 1:47 pm

      You’re welcome Rebecca – thanks for a fab post and for being involved in the series 🙂 xx

  2. Robyn
    March 1, 2016 at 7:20 am

    I like the way you describe your ‘date nights’ Rebecca, we also have no family nearby and so romance is pretty rare in the absence of handy babysitters. I’d like to make more of an effort to do the odd small thing for each other too 🙂 Thanks Mum in Brum for another interesting #usafteryou read!
    Robyn recently posted…BEST BITS OF THE WEEKEND – 27 & 28 FEBRUARYMy Profile

  3. Emma
    March 2, 2016 at 10:29 am

    Awww what a lovely couple and I love how they have date nights. So important to make time for your relationship #bestandworst
    Emma recently posted…Gifts for the Mum in your lifeMy Profile

  4. Jodie Allen at Makeup to Motherhood
    March 2, 2016 at 4:45 pm

    Lovely post 🙂 I totally agree that sometimes things ar’t 50/50 but it the end they all seem to balance out eventually. I like the way you talk about just doing things when they need to be done – I think that’s the best approach rather than the mentioned “I changed the last nappy” mentality #BestandWorst
    Jodie Allen at Makeup to Motherhood recently posted…High End Beauty Products I Cannot Live WithoutMy Profile

    1. Mum in Brum
      March 9, 2016 at 11:49 am

      Such a good point – we were pretty guilty of this in the beginning when we were haggard and sleep deprived, but so much better now!x

  5. Sarah Howe (@RunJumpScrap)
    March 2, 2016 at 7:34 pm

    Lovely post. I am always intrigued to know how other couples get on! I think this just sums it up. The children are beautiful too 🙂 Thanks for sharing with #bestandworst x
    Sarah Howe (@RunJumpScrap) recently posted…Best and Worst Week #40My Profile

  6. justsayingmum
    March 3, 2016 at 8:07 am

    oh beautiful photos! its so important to remember the ‘Us’ – but just so hard to sometimes – it does help as the children get a little older as they don’t clamber over you all the time (as much!) and there definitely seems to be more time for my husband and I to sit and have a glass of wine and a catch up in relative peace! lovely post though #coolmumclub
    justsayingmum recently posted…So, only last week …My Profile

    1. Mum in Brum
      March 9, 2016 at 11:42 am

      Parenthood I’m sure gets the better of all of our relationships at one point or another – it can be hard as you say when the kids are clambering over you! But yep, I do love our time after 7pm now when we can have a bottle of wine and enjoy some quality time together x

  7. Beauty Baby and Me
    March 3, 2016 at 8:26 am

    Gorgeous post and lovely pics you looked gorgeous on your wedding day xx #coolmumclub

  8. MMT
    March 3, 2016 at 11:05 am

    Aww, look at you on your first date! You look so young and little did you know what the future would hold. I love this series – Thanks for sharing with #coolmumclub Nat
    MMT recently posted…#coolmumclub Linky week 18My Profile

  9. Jemma - Anxious Mummy
    March 4, 2016 at 11:57 am

    Great post, you look so gorgeous on your wedding day. I love your dress! Totally agree that things can’t always be 50/50. Thanks for sharing! Jemma x #coolmumclub
    Jemma – Anxious Mummy recently posted…Trying New ThingsMy Profile

    1. Mum in Brum
      March 9, 2016 at 11:30 am

      The dress is gorgeous isn’t it?! Yep I agree about the 50/50 – it shifts and changes and once we accept that I think couples start to get on a little better!

  10. wendy
    March 4, 2016 at 3:31 pm

    Aww, this is so sweet. I really enjoy this series. Relationships definitely change once children make an appearance but it is all for the better I think. We have no family close by either so date nights are few and far between for us too/ Love the photo of you both on your first date, would you have ever guessed then where you would be now!

    Thank you for linking this up to #KCACOLS. Hope to see you again next Sunday xx
    wendy recently posted…To all the Mums out thereMy Profile

    1. Mum in Brum
      March 9, 2016 at 11:28 am

      Glad you enjoy the series Wendy – and I hear you on date nights being few and far between, thank god for wine! xx

    March 5, 2016 at 10:43 am

    What a lovely looking family and so heartening to see how relationships can flourish after marriage and children. I just hope my pregnant wife and I are equally as lucky #coolmumclub

    1. Mum in Brum
      March 9, 2016 at 11:26 am

      I’m sure you will be! I’m not going to lie about the first few months though – they are HARD! But after that you will be able to get some sense of yourself back! Good luck you have so much to look forward to 🙂

  12. A Moment with Franca
    March 5, 2016 at 12:54 pm

    Aww I love this post. They are really a good looking couple. Those photos are like from a magazine, lol. I love to know even more about Rebecca and her family. I actually met them a week ago at an event and they are lovely. That first photo of them at their first date is just amazing. What a first date in a plane!! As usual another great guest post for this #Usafteryou series. Thanks so much lovely for sharing this at #KCACOLS. I would love to see you again on Sunday! 🙂 x
    A Moment with Franca recently posted…Mother’s Day Must Have HamperMy Profile

    1. Mum in Brum
      March 9, 2016 at 11:25 am

      Aw that’s great that you met! I’m looking forward to meeting more of you lot at BML this year! x

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