Why go back to work?

Why go back to work after maternity leave?

This month is a significant one for us as Taylor will start nursery for two days each week. The plan is that I’ll have more time to focus on my freelance work and I’ll be able to gradually build up my workload towards a decent monthly income.

Alongside this, I’ll also be helping the hubby with his business which has gone from strength to strength (thanking our lucky stars) since I first left work to go on maternity leave. Because of this, there’s been no pressure on me to return to work. Although having two incomes would obviously ease the pressure, there’s been no urgent requirement for it right now.

So why go back to work?

Why go back to work?

It’s a conversation I had with my mum this weekend who is (I hope she won’t mind me saying) a bit of a traditionalist when it comes to the family set up. If you don’t have to, then why would you want to go back to work?

But I’ve always liked the workplace myself. I like being wanted and being told that ‘I done good’. I like to feel like I’m a part of something a little bigger than myself and that I’m adding real value with the work that I do. I like earning my own money and looking back over my achievements. I like the feeling I get after a good day at the office when I realise I’m worth every penny I’m paid.

And yes, having a daughter who needs me has made me feel more fulfilled than I ever thought possible. Her smile every day is so much sweeter than a pay check. Her claps when I do something funny is all the praise I’ll ever need. She is most definitely my biggest achievement of all and, for the first time in my life, I am finally content.

why go back to work?

So why go back to work?

I’m going back to work because the time is right for me. And somewhere inside of me I feel that I owe it to the girl in her twenties who worked hard to carve out a good career for her future self.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not that girl anymore. Taylor has changed me in so many ways and that future self is not really that interested in climbing the career ladder anymore, or chasing the money. I don’t want a highly stressful or demanding job where I’m going to be expected to work long hours and miss those precious moments at home. I realise that I am lucky to have that choice.

But for the first time in my working life I feel empowered and I truly feel that I can work for myself and make it work. Those doubts I had before when I ever considered freelancing are now gone. Of course, I know that this has a lot to do with not having the pressure of leaving an existing job role (and the security of not desperately needing a second salary) but I do feel that having another small human to think about has lit a fire in my belly that’s driving me towards new possibilities.

On a shallower level, perhaps my ego is just a little too big to spend my days selflessly caring for another. Perhaps I’ll never be able to stop the instant justifications I feel I need to offer when hubby walks through the door and assesses the chaos of the house, or the understanding (or complete lack of) I see in the eye of a stranger when I tell them I’m a stay at home mum. Perhaps these are all my own problems.

But regardless of all of that, I feel that the time is right for Taylor too. She is such a playful, happy little soul and I truly do feel that she will love meeting new people, interacting with other children and learning new ways of play every day.

Why go back to work?

I’m not the mum who sets up a different craft station each day. Or the mum who turns the living room into a new obstacle course each hour. We don’t have lots of visitors every week, nor does Taylor have any siblings to run about the house with when she’s having one of her ‘mad half hours’. I hate that all I’m thinking about is that I need to get the dinner on, when all she wants is for me to play with her. I’m not good with the constant mum guilt. And if it’s not mum guilt, it’s the wife guilt.

But I love her every day. I smother her with kisses and squeeze her with cuddles. I patiently teach her something new for however long it takes and squeal with delight when she finally gets it. I read her a story every evening and always kiss her goodnight. I check in on her to listen to her breathing before I go to bed and can’t wait to see her face every morning.

None of that will ever change.

But both of us are ready for new experiences and new challenges.

This was not meant to be another post in the pot about whether mums can or can’t ‘have it all’ (i.e. reconciling motherhood with a successful career). In my opinion, ‘having it all’ is very much down to personal perception and ‘having it all’ to one mum could mean something entirely different to another. I salute every mum who is trying to do the best they can for themselves and their families – whether that’s by being a working mum, or a stay at home mum.

For me it’s about finding my happy medium. This is me having it all.

Did you return to work after maternity leave? Or have you chosen to stay on at home?

Why go back to work?

Keep Calm and Carry On Linking Sunday

 

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74 Comment

  1. Claire
    March 10, 2016 at 3:59 pm

    I worked part time after having my eldest!
    Honestly best thing I did! It was good for me and O to have some separation. The time we had together was a lot better spent.
    I loved having some adult conversation & independence again!!

    The extra cash was nice too 😀

  2. Clare
    March 10, 2016 at 4:27 pm

    I wish I didn’t have to go back to work, but unfortunately it’s not an option. I don’t think that being a sahm or a working mum is wrong either way, there are so many benefits and draw backs on both fronts. It’s such a shame women get judged for what they choose. I’d love to find my happy medium too, I’m hoping I still will. 🙂 Clare x

    1. Mum in Brum
      March 15, 2016 at 11:50 am

      You’re so right – I often think it’s hard to feel like you’re ‘winning’ either way. Hpefully working full-time will be the right balance for me, hope you find your happy medium soon x

  3. Emma
    March 11, 2016 at 10:26 am

    Great post. it is tough going back and there can be a lot of mum guilt. I personally love my work/life balance and have Fridays with my little man. You have to do what is right for you. Im sure your little girl will love nursery!

  4. Laura @dearbearandbeany
    March 11, 2016 at 12:53 pm

    Great post. I went back to work after my first daughter turned 13 months for 3 days a week, mainly because we knew we wanted to have another child and I could get the maternity pay again. I fell pregnant within a few months and I left work 9 months later for maternity leave with my second daughter. Holly is now 18 months and I haven’t returned to work and I love being at home with my girls. However a few months ago, I felt that I needed to do something for me, that something was missing from life and that is when I took the courage to start my blog. No it doesn’t bring in money, but it does give me so much joy. I think whatever decisions you make, they will be the right ones for you and your family. x
    Laura @dearbearandbeany recently posted…The things I didn’t consider before I became a mummy…My Profile

    1. Mum in Brum
      March 15, 2016 at 11:52 am

      Blogging really has provided me with so much throughout my maternity leave – I think I may have got a little fed up at times without it. Yes I love being at home with my daughter, but it’s so nice to use your brain! So glad that you’re enjoying it so much x

  5. Rachel Bustin
    March 11, 2016 at 8:03 pm

    A lovely post. I have just had my first baby 5 weeks ago, and unfortunately I will have to go back to work as we cannot afford me not to. I have worked out that we can afford me to drop from 5 days to 4 a week but thats all we can manage. Its sad thinking about it but we won’t be able to afford another child either. childcare is so expensive. We have managed to rope in the grandparents to look after baby girl for a couple a days a week. xx
    #picknmix
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    1. Mum in Brum
      March 15, 2016 at 11:55 am

      Childcare really is so expensive, it’s crazy how much of my earnings will just cover Taylor’s nursery fees. At least if you manage to get your hours to 4 days that will pass by quite quickly each week I’m sure. That’s great that your grandparents are able to help out too. Hope it all works out well for you xx

  6. The Pramshed
    March 11, 2016 at 9:13 pm

    Great post, and it’s great that you can have the best of both worlds. Like you I feel the need to continue my career and to feel empowered, but also feel that my daughter would hugely benefit from going to nursery – having an infinite number of toys to play with, gain social skills and also start learning too (some things that I can never offer her at home). Although my little one will be going to nursery 4 days a week, so I am worried about missing out and how I will feel come end of June when I go back to work. I hope that everything goes well when Taylor starts nursery. Claire x #PickNMix
    The Pramshed recently posted…30 Days Blogging ChallengeMy Profile

    1. Mum in Brum
      March 15, 2016 at 11:59 am

      Thanks Claire, I’m sure your little one will love it at nursery. I hope that the 4 days feels right for you – I’m sure you won’t miss out on too much and the days will fly by. Hope it all goes well for you too xx

  7. Min
    March 12, 2016 at 4:02 pm

    As a single mum, I don’t have a choice and I have to work, but in a way I’m glad I don’t have the choice, because when you do, it seems that there’s so much agonising over what to do-whether to go back full or part time, or whether to go back at all. I do miss Piglet, but like you I’m not that mum doing all the crafts, or turning the living room into an obstacle course, and there’s certainly nothing wrong with wanting a career as well as children. Best of luck. x #picknmix
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    1. Mum in Brum
      March 15, 2016 at 12:02 pm

      Thanks Min – it is nice to have the choice, but yes it can drive you mad trying to decide what’s the right thing to do – for you and your family. I totally agree that there’s nothing wrong with wanting a career x

  8. Jess Powell (Babi a Fi)
    March 12, 2016 at 10:57 pm

    I went back when Marianna was two months – my partner had been fired and it was either that or starve! I only work part time but I liked having that feeling of independence again, and if I did it over I think I’d still choose to go back early. x #KCACOLS
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    1. Mum in Brum
      March 15, 2016 at 12:07 pm

      Ooh that must’ve been pretty stressful! Glad to hear it all worked out in the end x

  9. tracey bowden
    March 12, 2016 at 11:05 pm

    I felt exactly the same as you about returning to work and never once doubted my choice. I am not a crafty or even imaginative mum so my daughter got all of that whilst at nursery and all of me when I was at home as I wasn’t an still not the stay at home mum type, I love to go out to work #KCACOLS
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    1. Mum in Brum
      March 15, 2016 at 12:06 pm

      Great to hear that it all worked out for you – we all need to do what makes us happy in the end x

  10. My Petit Canard
    March 12, 2016 at 11:40 pm

    Ahh exciting times ahead it sounds like. For me, like you, I was excited about returning back to work after we had our little one. I wasnt exactly running back, but after 10 months off on maternity leave, I was very much looking forward to returning to my professional career and the workplace for very much the same reasons you’ve described. With baby number two on the way though, my head is in a different space and place this time so it’ll be interesting to see how it all pans out.. Cant wait to hear more about how you get on 🙂 Emily #KCACOLS

    1. Mum in Brum
      March 15, 2016 at 12:05 pm

      Looking forward to following your journey and seeing how it all pans out for you after baby number 2 – I can imagine your thoughts shift all over again! x

  11. mainy
    March 12, 2016 at 11:45 pm

    Hi, It’s good to look at the personal reasons for going or not going back to work , just like you have in your post. Sometimes we don’t have a choice and we have to. I don’t know any different and had to go back quite quickly. One thing that I am sure of is that my boys are happy and we are all pretty well balanced apart from the odd freak out which I’m sure is completely normal!! Well I hope it is:) I feel enough guilt about not being a good enough parent when I see others doing non stop crafts and cooking when I’m at work that I just have to put it to one side and think that we are all trying our best and generally make a pretty good job of it regardless of how much or how little we go somewhere else for some paid work.
    Mainy

    #KCACOLS

    myrealfairy.com
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    1. Mum in Brum
      March 15, 2016 at 12:04 pm

      I always think that the fact we worry so much in the first place is proof that we are all great mums! As you say, we do what we have to and children will be happy as long as they are loved and looked after x

  12. Yvonne
    March 13, 2016 at 7:40 am

    This is something that only you as a family can decide, everyone is different. I went back to work just before the boys turned 3, they were in nursery for a few mornings a week from 2 though. It just seemed right for them to be in a more social environment. Since going back to work I feel even more fulfilled that I did before, if slightly more stressed! Looking forward to hearing how you get on 🙂 #PicknMix xxx

    1. Mum in Brum
      March 15, 2016 at 11:49 am

      That’a great to hear that you feel even more fulfilled – you’re right everyone is different and we each need to find out what works best for us x

  13. Emma Jones
    March 13, 2016 at 9:01 am

    I needed to go back to work for financial reasons but also my sanity. I found being a SAHM a bit boring. I didn’t have a mum group & spent large amounts of time alone. I only work part time & it’s a good balance although some data a struggle fitting everything in. #kcacols lifeinthemumslane
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    1. Mum in Brum
      March 15, 2016 at 11:47 am

      I’m similar to you and do spend large amounts of time alone. I think if you live close to family and friends who can pop in a see you on a daily basis then the desire to get back to work would be less. But yes, some days can be quite repetitive when you don’t leave the house – and I tend to spend money when I step out the door so try to avoid it!!

  14. Emma
    March 13, 2016 at 9:28 am

    Great post and I think you are making a really fantastic choice. Your role will allow you the best of both worlds, to still be at home so you can pick up your daughter and take her to nursery but also a flexible job which allows you time for you too and to develop your career. It can be hard to find any job that allows you to do this so it sounds like you have found a really good balance. I hope it goes well as I am thinking of doing something similar 🙂 #KCACOLS
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  15. Kat
    March 13, 2016 at 10:51 am

    This is great! I completely resonate with this and when the time is right for you to do something new then grab it by the horns and go for it! It’s great that you’re feeling more empowered. I personally went back to work just around the time my daughter turned three, as it was the right time for us. I gave up being an employee last April and haven’t looked back now working for myself and working at home is where I want to be! That might change in the future but right now my daughter is loving school, I can be there for parents evening, school plays and I don’t need a childminder but equally I spend my days working on myself, my blog, copywriting and seeing my friends or speaking with clients and customers. Right now, we have a great work-life balance and I’m glad I am able to work at home. #kcacols
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    1. Mum in Brum
      March 15, 2016 at 11:43 am

      That’s so nice to hear! Hoping that I’ll be able to have a similar set up to you eventually which would give me a brilliant balance. Sounds like you’ve done really well being self-employed – good for you! x

  16. Tim
    March 13, 2016 at 11:46 am

    Two days a week seems like a good balance.

    My wife went back to work a year after each of our three kids were born – a combination of three days a week, then the equivalent hours worked over four days, then most recently three normal days again. In each case it was a matter of finding the right balance that worked for both her and the kids. I’ve also compromised in a lesser way, in that I asked not to be considered for any jobs that required extensive travel while the kids were still little. I’ve probably lost a couple of opportunities as a result, but it’s meant that I am only away a few nights a year and I am home in time for bedtime typically four days a week. #sundaystars
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    1. Mum in Brum
      March 15, 2016 at 11:41 am

      I think working part-time really is the ideal – I completely understand why mums get so depressed about going back 5 days a week after spending every day at home with their children. But as you say, it’s all about finding a balance that works for you and trying to compromise a set up with your employer if possible that works better for your family. My hubby works for himself which is perfect in terms of being able to get home before bedtime, but it does make it difficult taking time off for holidays etc. There are always swings and roundabouts I guess!

  17. Squirmy Popple
    March 13, 2016 at 1:04 pm

    I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately. I’m due back at work in a few months and am hoping to go back part-time in the hope that I can get the best of both worlds – raising my daughter and being in the workplace. I’m not sure how it’s going to work practically or financially, but I’m going to give it a go. #KCACOLS
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  18. Megan - Truly Madly Kids
    March 13, 2016 at 6:19 pm

    Motherhood is wonderful, but so is the world of work and sometimes people forget that choosing to work can be for so many other reasons than *just* finance. You’ve articulated this perfectly. Good luck with your choices, and nothing is forever, you can always change your mind! #sundaystars

    1. Mum in Brum
      March 15, 2016 at 11:36 am

      Thanks so much Megan, yep – work has other perks rather than just getting paid. If you’re in the right job for you then it shouldn’t be a dreaded chore x

  19. Becster
    March 14, 2016 at 1:48 pm

    I absolutely love this post! And can relate to so much in it. The mummy guilt is so hard but I did return to work after having kids – like you, I love my job and felt like I owed it to myself to go back because I’d worked so bloody hard to get where I was. Of course I miss my babies when I’m at work but they’re happy going to nursery (also two days a week) and to Nain & Taid’s for the rest of the week. If we didn’t need the money then possibly I would’ve gone back part time but that was never an option really. Plus I think it did my toddler a world of good to go to nursery! Good luck with your work! 🙂 #KCACOLS

    1. Mum in Brum
      March 15, 2016 at 11:35 am

      Thanks so much! I do think nursery will do Taylor the world of good – I’m sure she gets a little bored of me! So nice to hear that you’re happy with your decision to go back to work, I think we always have to do what feels right for our own individual situation and follow our gut xx

  20. Alice Nipper and Tyke
    March 14, 2016 at 2:08 pm

    Sounds pretty ideal that you can build up to what feels like a sensible level for you. Personally, staying at home full time would be a struggle for me – similarly working full time will be hard when I have to go back in September. I would love to work four days a week – that seems like my perfect balance, taking all things into account 🙂 Alternatively, I could win the lottery 😀
    x Alice
    #kcacols
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    1. Mum in Brum
      March 15, 2016 at 11:32 am

      haha wouldn’t that be lovely! Hoping you’ll be able to find a set up that works for you in September x

  21. Mummy here and there
    March 14, 2016 at 2:24 pm

    I think everyone life is different and if you can do what makes you happy. But I am aware sadly that some people can’t so you do what is right for your situation X #sundaystars

  22. Laura
    March 14, 2016 at 6:03 pm

    I absolutely agree! I work for very similar reasons – what you said about ego really hit home with me too. There is no quantifiable way to appraise how you’re doing as a parent but at work there are plenty of guidelines and structure and reward which I need. Thanks for sharing x #kcacols #sundaystars #shareitsunday
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    1. Mum in Brum
      March 15, 2016 at 11:31 am

      I’m exactly the same Laura – some may think it’s a little sad but I do need a pat on the back every now and again!! 🙂 x

  23. Diapers at Dawn
    March 14, 2016 at 8:31 pm

    Great post. I had to go back go work agter maternity but managed to swindle it down to 4 days a week. Unfortunately I’m not the crafty type of mum either but Baby K is at nursery for two half days a week (nursery cost in London is ridiculous) so I know he’s being mentally stimulated. I think in an ideal world I’d like to be able to work on days when he’s at nursery so I don’t feel like I’m missing out as much. I hope it works out for you and you enjoy whatever you do x #KCACOLS
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    1. Mum in Brum
      March 15, 2016 at 11:31 am

      Thanks hun. I do think that nursery is a good environment for them to be in – Taylor seemed to love it on our visits there, but yep nursery fees are ridiculous really and I understand why some mums can’t see the point in returning to work to pay for childcare. I think part-time work and part-time nursery attendance is the ideal scenario for me – hopefully that way I won’t feel I’m missing out, like you. x

  24. Laura Wilson
    March 14, 2016 at 9:55 pm

    Oh bless you it’s such a dilemma isn’t it and that Mum guilt is just KILLER! I quit my job in a panic, I had anxiety and PND and couldn’t face it so took a menial part time job which I am hopefully now leaving to work on my blog. I will try and get my litlest baby into nursery a morning a week when she is two I think, it would be good for both our sakes. As long as you are doing what your heart says is right, you can’t go wrong and nothing is forever, you can always make another change if things don’t work out 🙂

    Thanks for sharing and I really hope it goes well xx

    1. Mum in Brum
      March 15, 2016 at 11:28 am

      I think that is so important to remember – that nothing is forever and we always have options. That’s exciting that you’re leaving work to spend more time on your blog – good luck with it all. xx

  25. Morgan Prince
    March 15, 2016 at 7:27 pm

    When I left work I was 4 months pregnant, it was more than 11 years ago now! I never did go back to work, but then I knew that I wouldn’t. I waited until my boys were older until I started to think about myself and what I wanted to do. That’s what brought me to blogging! This is great and I think it’s important to do what you’re comfortable with. Here’s to you having it all! 🙂
    #shareitsunday

  26. Maria
    March 16, 2016 at 8:36 am

    I went back to work the first time when E was 10 months old and the second time M was 11 months and I work 4 days a week. For us it wasn’t a choice as such because we needed my income to help pay the mortgage. For me, it’s nice to have that time away to be “you” and not “mummy” but striking a good balance can be tough. Nursery was great for my boys development I noticed M’s speech drastically improve when he started.

    Thank you for linking up to #KCACOLS and I hope to see you back again on sunday x
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  27. Jenni
    March 16, 2016 at 8:40 am

    This is exactly the conversation we have been having last week. I was due back full time tomorrow but after a lot of consideration decided to completely change my job and also just do 2 days. The childcare costs outweigh my wage and the time away from Lucas but I also don’t want to be fully at home,mI still want to make my own money and get a sense of achievement x #bestandworse
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  28. Coombe Mill - Fiona Cambouropoulos
    March 16, 2016 at 9:34 am

    It is such a personal decision and only you can make it, I know going back was right for me too. #SharewithMe
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  29. John Adams
    March 16, 2016 at 9:51 am

    Ha ha! Neither; as a man I don’t believe you can have it all and so killed off my career to be the stay at home parent. It’s my wife who works full time. Bets of luck with your endeavors. It’s nothing new, women have combined work and children since the dawn of time. #sharewithme
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  30. laura dove
    March 16, 2016 at 10:47 am

    I was pregnant again before my maternity leave ended with baby number 3 and within 3 months of baby number 4 coming along I was pregnant with baby number 5, so for me – I am a SAHM and there is no job available to me that could ever pay my child care bill should I return to work!! It’s all about personal choice isn’t it, I waited a long time for my children and went through such a lot to get them that for me, going back to work would not be the right choice. #bestandworst
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  31. Nige
    March 16, 2016 at 6:19 pm

    Very difficult decision but sounds like you are following heart hope it all works out ok for you good luck best&worst

  32. Renee @peonieandme
    March 16, 2016 at 8:22 pm

    Firstly your little girl is just adorable. Love the picture with her in the basket.

    I can so relate to your blog post, you have the same questions and thoughts that I had (& still have) since returning to work. I’m lucky I have a great job in fashion that I love and I still had some career milestones I wanted to achieve. But that doesn’t come without Mummy guilt and sheer exhaustion when Henry doesn’t sleep. But like you said sometimes its time for new challengers and Henry is flourishing at nursery. I love a good old den and arts and crafts time, but I couldn’t sustain that level of creativity all day every day.

    Hopefully one day I will find the right balance, but for now we are all very happy.

    Great post #bestandworst

    Renee @peonieandme
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  33. Gina
    March 16, 2016 at 8:26 pm

    I’m not yet a mother. But, I hope to be one in the next few years. Nevertheless, I really enjoyed reading this post. I’ve been debating whether or not to be a stay at home mom or to work or what exactly to do. I know that I’d like to stay at home, but I feel guilty when I work from home and feel that there is never enough progress or productivity to show. I also feel odd telling strangers that I want to be a stay at home wife and mom someday. I know that it’s irrational, and I shouldn’t care what others think. But, I’m with you. I think I need to find my happy medium. Thanks for sharing your personal experience. Good luck with your work and I hope the transition is smooth!
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  34. Katy (What Katy Said)
    March 16, 2016 at 9:16 pm

    You have to do what is right for you and it sounds like this is that choice. You are lucky to have a job you are drawn back to, I don’t love my job and so for me I would rather stay home. It would be a hell of a lot easier if I went to work but for now we are lucky that I have the option to stay off that bit longer. I hope it all works out well and that she settles in her new routine. x #ShareWithMe

    1. Mum in Brum
      March 20, 2016 at 10:43 pm

      Thanks Katy, I do feel lucky that I enjoyed my job and also that I’m able to do it freelance – I definitely wouldn’t be looking forward to returning to it full-time. x

  35. mummyandmonkeys
    March 16, 2016 at 9:17 pm

    It sounds like you are doing what will make you happy and that will equal a happy Mummy. I wish I could do a job that fitted better around my children, freelancing in school hours for me would be ideal meaning I could drop off and pick up which I currently can’t do the days I go to work. I hope it all works out for you and she settles well in to nursery. Thanks for linking to #PickNMix
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  36. Anita Cleare
    March 17, 2016 at 2:19 pm

    A really thoughtful read – thanks for sharing! I think we all have to do what is right for us and our family at each particular crossroads. #coolmumclub

  37. Talya
    March 17, 2016 at 2:34 pm

    I totally relate to this hon. I love being a mum but there is a part of me that feels like I need to be doing something else, earning a little, and just existing a little bit in the way I used to before I had my girl. Thanks for linking up to #coolmumclub lovely x
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  38. Katy - Hot Pink Wellingtons
    March 17, 2016 at 9:08 pm

    Good luck with your freelancing! I have a very similar situation – I work freelance from home two days a week. It works really well for me – although it’s not as challenging as my pre-baby career, it gives me something other than Max to focus on, which I do need, brings in some money which means we can go on days out on my non-working days, and keeps my CV ticking over. I really like the balance that part-time work gives. #coolmumclub

    1. Mum in Brum
      March 20, 2016 at 10:39 pm

      So glad to hear that freelancing has worked for you. I think 2/3 days a week will be the perfect balance for me too. Like you, I don’t want it to be as demanding as my pre-baby career but it will be nice to have something else to focus on alongside Taylor x

  39. Silly Mummy
    March 18, 2016 at 1:28 am

    I don’t think there’s a right or wrong answer. People have to do what’s right for them. Or they have to do what they have to do if finances mean both parents must work, or that one parent must stay home to save childcare costs. #KCACOLS
    Silly Mummy recently posted…Off With My Head: The Ten Funniest Things The Toddler Said Last WeekMy Profile

  40. Mrs H
    March 20, 2016 at 12:02 am

    Great post. We couldn’t actually afford for me to go back to work. So I am now a stay-at-home-mum. I did love my job and sometimes really miss it. But I also love being at home with my daughter. I don’t think there is a right or wrong in these situations. And you should certainly never have to defend your decision to anyone. We do what we believe is right for our family. Our children. And ourselves. And that in my book is having it all. Thanks for linking up with #SundaysStars. Hugs Lucy xxxx
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    1. Mum in Brum
      March 20, 2016 at 10:29 pm

      Thanks Lucy, I totally agree with you – we have to do whatever is right for our personal situation and our families. And we should never have to defend whatever decision we make xxx

  41. Kerry
    March 20, 2016 at 3:45 pm

    Great post, i think you know when the time is right don’t you. I didn’t go back with my first until she was 14 months but with my second I went back when he was 10 months and wasn’t worried this time. I’m only working part time now as I work full time freelance and for my blog from home but when both of the kids are in school everyday I have been considering going back full time. Thanks for linking up with #shareitsunday x

  42. MMT
    March 20, 2016 at 7:19 pm

    I could really relate to a lot of this post…sometimes I feel dangermouse is ready for some time away from me – and I miss the work environment. But, having lost my ‘steady’ job of 14 years, finding something as good, and part time seems a big mountain to climb…especially with Tigs starting school this September. I guess, the right time will come for us, I do believe that. Good luck with your next chapter – I loved being back at work when I was Mummy to one little person. Things definitely seems trickier with two!

    xx
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    1. Mum in Brum
      March 20, 2016 at 10:18 pm

      Thanks lovely. I can imagine things change quite a bit once there’s two kids to think about – not to mention childcare costs etc and trying to juggle school pick ups etc xx

  43. helen gandy
    March 20, 2016 at 7:37 pm

    I have not long gone back to work, I do 3 days a week although they are 10.5 hour shifts. I miss the kids terribly but I love that I am earning my own money that I can spend on them. Lovely post and thanks for linking up #bestandworst
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  44. Emma T
    March 20, 2016 at 10:03 pm

    I went back to work. There was never any way I wouldn’t have done – it means I’ve got money (I’m the salaried one, the OH is self employed) and we wouldn’t have to penny pinch, plus I’d have gone spare at home all the time, I’d have been expected to keep the house like a traditional housewife which I’d have hated. N really benefitted in lots of way being at nursery, being able to settle easily in school etc.

    The only downside is what I’m seeing now he’s at school – both getting to open events and he is a bit slow in progressing in his reading. He’s lazy and doesn’t want to do it. there’s another boy at the same stage – I’m wondering whether it’s because those 2 are the only ones with full time working mums. I know I find it hard to fit in the reading we need to do with him each day before bed, and he moans he’s tired by the time he gets home from after school club.

    1. Mum in Brum
      March 20, 2016 at 10:16 pm

      I’m not sure I’m much good at being a traditional housewife either – I do try but I find it pretty repetitive and I’m just no good at sticking to weekly schedules etc. That’s interesting what you say about your son starting school – it must be hard trying to fit everything into a couple of hours in the evening, I’m sure he’ll catch up soon x

  45. Nikki
    March 21, 2016 at 12:41 pm

    Natalie, isn’t it funny that as mothers we have a hard time with this decision? Do the fathers have as hard a time deciding about going back to work? I think it is ingrained in us as mothers and probably it is an instinctual thing too. I took off my son’s first year. And when my daughter was born I worked nights and my husband worked days so one of us was home with her most of the time. I had to go back to work after my daughter was born far before I was ready, especially as I had had a C-section but they needed me back to work in 4 weeks. But I also agree I needed that time to myself, to get away so that I could be a better mother. And so I could help provide for the family.

    This is such a personal decision, and it varies with each mother. But you need to do what’s right for you. Taylor is such a beautiful little girl, you know her well, what she’s ready for and what she can handle. I’m sure this is going to be much harder on you than on her. I hope that you find something you really really love and it will help you to realize that going back to work, for you, is the right decision.
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  46. Jenny
    March 22, 2016 at 6:15 pm

    I agree with you it’s our own perception of what “having it all” means to us not to the world. For each of us it’s different. After maternity I worked out that childcare and parking and driving into the city for work would have cost me most of my paycheck and so I opted to work fulltime from home with my little ones besides me. This isn’t ideal for everyone. Not everyone would like to tackle two babies 20 months apart while making conference call and working on a laptop night and weekends but it fits us and our family at the moment. I think fall what your gut says and what’s best for your family. Thanks for linking up to Share With Me and the continual support. #sharewithme
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  47. […] of your favourite post: Totally up to you! Although this one and this one and this one are recent popular […]

  48. Kimberley
    May 16, 2016 at 12:19 am

    Very much was in this situation nearly 9 months ago my son is about 18months old. I didn’t go back to employment, our business does well and I wanted to focus on Oscar solidly for atleast a year. Now I’m blogging and dreaming up plans for my own things. I’m liberated and free and I love every second of it. Motherhood does give you a sudden woman power! Great post x

  49. Gemma
    May 27, 2016 at 7:53 am

    I think I would be exactly the same as you when I have children, but I think doing what works best for you and your family is so important and who cares what anyone else thinks, if you and your family are going to be more content for it in whatever way then that’s all that matters! 🙂 I would love to do what you’re doing, good luck with all of your freelance writing and your goal of earning a decent monthly income with it!

    Gemma x
    The British Feather – A UK Lifestyle & Home Decor Blog
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  50. […] taking the plunge to go freelance instead of returning to work full time, I admit that I’ve found it a little more difficult […]

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