Welcome back to another #UsAfterYou guest post – the series where fellow bloggers divulge how having children affected their relationship. This week we have the lovely Maria from Suburban Mum. Over on her blog, Maria shares her life as a working mum bringing up her two boys. As well as a whole host of parenting tips and tricks that she’s learnt along the way, you’ll also find some really helpful reviews, great giveaways and lots of inspiration for keeping your little ones entertained.
Enough from me, over to Maria…
I met my husband Dave when we were both studying Graphic Design at Art College. We were both on the same course and hung around with the same group of friends. We had been together nine years when he proposed back in 2007 and we got married on Easter Monday in April 2009. We always knew we wanted to start a family and by September of the same year, I found out I was pregnant and we were going to become parents!
When E arrived in May 2010 we were over the moon but nothing could have prepared us for those early days. We were in complete shock by how this tiny human being took everything out of us. Both my husband and I found the first few weeks so tough. The lack of sleep, the worry of every cry or sniffle – we were like zombies walking around!
Luckily, this of course passed as we gradually got to know our baby and settle into our new role as parents.
Before children, we both loved having long lazy lie-ins at the weekends. We’d meet up with friends for drinks and meals out, go to the cinema or even take drives on a whim to find somewhere new. I also liked to potter around the house and read whereas Dave enjoyed gaming.
Needless to say a lot of these things went out of the window when our son came along because our focus changed. We didn’t have the time (or the energy!) to go out. Nights out became nights in, instead of going out for meals with friends we would invite them round and cook. Trips to the cinema became Netflix or Sky Movies. Going out together as a couple was rare because one of us needed to be at home.
We had our second child M, (another boy) in February 2013 and the focus shifted again. Oh the demands of a new born and a toddler!
Second time around we were wiser – we knew more of what to expect and I was a lot less precious about having to stick to a regimented routine and as a result we were both more relaxed as parents too.
Relationships evolve and change over time but I think it’s about how you tackle things together as a couple that help you stand the test of time. Understanding one another and being there to help each other no matter how tough a day we are having I think is essential.
It’s so easy to get caught up in who did or didn’t do what around the house and in the grand scheme of things these things are really not important. I regularly tell myself not to sweat the small stuff.
When you are expecting your first baby everyone tells you that life is never going to be the same again – and they are right. Having a child does change you and it changes your relationship dynamics too.
It has changed us for the better. I know it sounds so cliché but having the boys has truly made our house a home. I remember when we first moved into our house ten years ago both Dave and I loved listening the sound of children playing outside and now we have our own two noisy boys to add to that sound. There is never a dull moment – they do like to keep us on our toes these boys but above all they make us smile and laugh every day and I wouldn’t want to trade that for anything else.