#UsAfterYou – Featuring Educating Roversi

Guest blog post from Educating Roversi

It’s that time of the week again! Another guest post in the #UsAfterYou series where I ask, “How did your relationship change after children?” This week we have Wakefield Mum Becky from the fab blog Educating Roversi. If you haven’t visited her blog yet it’s well worth a visit with posts featuring days out, home improvement, teaching and of course, the wonderful world of being a mother to her cheeky son ‘Mini R’, who turns two this summer. Read on for her guest blog post…

Educating Roversi guest blogger post

My husband and I were not a conventional couple from day one. We got together because we’d met though friends who we’d been seeing and, as we became “official”, his Dad opened the family restaurant in which R worked all hours to ensure the business had the best start that it could. Whereas new couples spend their lives in each other’s pockets, we had space from the beginning which wasn’t something that I would have enjoyed a couple of years previously however, after enjoying a year and a half being single and (as cheesy as it sounds) “finding myself”, it was perfect. No pressure and I was still able to get on with the life I had enjoyed living before I met him, just with the added bonus of a lovely boyfriend to see occasionally, and when he asked me to move in with him only four months everything fell into place. 

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It’s fair to say that in the five years pre- child, we continued with our together yet separate lives. We had our own friends and our own lives as well as our lives together and it was the way we liked it. A few people found it odd but we thought it stopped us from getting complacent. We made sure we enjoyed the rare time we did get together, not knowing if even that would be taken away. We had the odd argument, ahem I mean heated discussion, when he was called into work on what was supposed to be his day off.  I cherished the nights that my other half was at home to cuddle up to on the sofa because most nights of the week it was just me, but I enjoyed the fact that having a boyfriend didn’t stop me from seeing my friends as often as I had when I was single. 

Our precious times together consisted of many cinema visits (we share a love of films), meals out, day trips and the occasional staycation: most memorably one in the Cotswolds when we’d only been together a few months, and nights out with his mates in Leeds. We enjoyed inviting people around for tea and getting in bed early to watch a favourite film, not all together! 

On the 3rd August 2013 we got married and knew we wanted to start a family, after all neither of us were getting any younger! We were lucky and by October 2013, Mini R was on the way! 

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Born on my 30th birthday, the first two weeks while my husband was off work were actually quite good. Yes, we were tired and felt like we were making things up as we went along but we were a team, being thoughtful of each other and our feelings. Something we could do with remembering more recently. I breastfed and the hubby was to become my right hand man, helping me get comfy or passing me things (usually my phone which I always seemed to leave on the side I was feeding on making it hard to reach!). As the weeks progressed, his working hours became a god send, I would express enough for one feed which would coincide with when he got in from work, around 11/midnight. If I went to sleep straight after the feed before it I could get a solid 4/5 hours sleep which kept me sane. 

All the amazing teamwork was surprising to me, why? Well we’d always been known as the couple that bickered, not arguments, just little petty things. Honestly, it annoyed me but we are both so opinionated that it naturally happened! The biggest change in our relationship since having Mini R has definitely been how that bickering has lessened. I won’t say it’s been eradicated completely but it’s rare.

Obviously it’s not ideal for our son to witness bickering between his parents, however light hearted, however I have also realised I should pick my battles so I bite my tongue at times and have the rule that, if it’s something important, I will discuss it calmly when Mini R is in bed. This works well as, by the time it gets to nap/bedtime, I’ve usually gotten over my issue. 

Guest blog post #UsAfterYou by Educating Roversi

Time is still an challenge for us. We struggle to spend time together alone. Sunday’s are our family day which are lovely: little walks with our little man, Sunday dinners and maybe a bit of Bingo for mummy in the evening while Daddy gets some alone time for himself but time together: missing in action! Hence why I organised a weekend away for his birthday which you can read about here!

We both keep saying we need to make more time for each other but opportunities are rare. Sunday’s and Monday’s are his only evenings free but Monday and Tuesday are my days in work, as well as Friday, so I’m usually knackered or wanting an early night so I’m revived for work. 

Having Mini R has turned us into a family and since then we have created a home and a life as a three. It’s lovely, as long as he’s not sitting playing on his phone when he could be doing something useful! Ha ha! Being a mother has calmed me, which has had a positive impact on our relationship because I don’t always have my say back now. Life is busier than ever but I’m enjoying riding the wave of parenthood, wih the hubby by my side. 

You can follow Becky at Educating Roversi on Twitter, Facebook, Pinterest and Instagram

If you would like to submit a guest blog post for #UsAfterYou, please do give me a tweet or drop me an email!

A Cornish Mum

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14 Comment

  1. Jodie Allen at Makeup to Motherhood
    March 25, 2016 at 10:45 am

    Another lovely post in this series. I love reading them so much! I definitely agree with “pick your battles” and we too try to keep sunday as a family day #PicknMix
    Jodie Allen at Makeup to Motherhood recently posted…Toddler Update: 14 MonthsMy Profile

    1. Mum in Brum
      March 28, 2016 at 1:01 pm

      We try to do the same – I love Sundays! So glad you enjoy the series xx

  2. Becky @ Educating Roversi
    March 25, 2016 at 12:54 pm

    Eeeek! Thanks so much for featuring me! I feel very lucky! ☺️

    1. Mum in Brum
      March 28, 2016 at 12:58 pm

      Thanks for a fab post Becky and for being involved in #usafteryou x

  3. Emma
    March 25, 2016 at 7:59 pm

    lovely post and pics. having a child certainly changes things. I wasn’t prepared for just how much at first. took me a while to come to terms with the fact it wasn’t just me and hubby! love it now though and love family days out 🙂 #picknmix

  4. Mummy Fever
    March 30, 2016 at 10:06 am

    Picking your battles is so important otherwise every day can seem like a battle. #sharewithme
    Mummy Fever recently posted…The big blogiversary giveaway: day thirtyMy Profile

    1. Mum in Brum
      March 31, 2016 at 10:49 pm

      I couldn’t agree more! We found it hard in the beginning when sleep deprived but you soon get back into the swing of things I think x

  5. Christie
    March 30, 2016 at 12:00 pm

    It’s wonderful to be able to maintain your individuality through a relationship and after having a baby. I’m glad that Becky and her husband were able to find a way to work as a team as new parents. It sounds like they have a beautiful relationship. #sharewithme

    1. Mum in Brum
      March 31, 2016 at 10:48 pm

      I think working as a team and helping each other out is always key to a great relationship x

  6. A Cornish Mum
    March 31, 2016 at 8:57 pm

    Children definitely change the relationship dynamics! Thanks for linking up to #PicknMix

    Stevie x
    A Cornish Mum recently posted…National Stationery Week with Pen HeavenMy Profile

    1. Mum in Brum
      March 31, 2016 at 10:46 pm

      Don’t they just! Hopefully all for the better in the end though x

  7. Nikki
    April 4, 2016 at 8:59 pm

    I am kinda nosy! LOL I love reading these stories and seeing how others got together and how they live their lives. These 3 look like they have a great life together, loads of love and fun! My husband and I have a similar relationship, we can do what we want when we want, and for most of our marriage we worked different hours so one of us could be home with the kids. And although we can do what we want we now decide that what we want is to spend time together, for the most part! Funny how that works out.
    Nikki recently posted…Social Media Blast – Let’s Stumble!My Profile

    1. Mum in Brum
      April 4, 2016 at 9:54 pm

      Haha that’s great that you can finally spend quality time together now – sounds like you deserve it! X

  8. Jenny
    April 5, 2016 at 9:00 pm

    I love reading these stories and how it all began for each feature. It’s definitely a time after children that partners need to make the extra little effort to have their special quality time together. Thanks for linking up to Share With Me #sharewithme
    Jenny recently posted…The world through a child’s eyesMy Profile

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