We’re now approaching 30 weeks in pregnancy number two and I’m already understanding why, as a second child myself, there are barely any baby photos of me. They say that we’re all born equal, but they lie. Second children just aren’t as big a deal as the precious first borns – of course they are loved equally, but you can forget any special treatment.
I’d like to think that our new baby won’t fall victim to the second child treatment, but it seems I’m not doing too well so far since it’s already started in the womb…
First pregnancy Vs. second pregnancy
First pregnancy – I downloaded multiple pregnancy apps and always knew on any given week whether baby was a ‘grape’ an ‘avocado’ or a ‘coconut.’ Getting my weekly update was one of the highlights of each week and the hubby wanted to hear all about baby’s development and my symptoms. I didn’t just count the weeks, I counted the days.
Second pregnancy – With a toddler running rings around me, I can barely remember what month it is, let alone what week. The weeks seem to be flying by and I get a fright every time I realise that the newborn days are just around the corner…About once a month hubby asks “What’s the due date again?”
Taking care of ‘the vessel’
First pregnancy – I marvelled at the fact I was having a baby, I felt precious. People would regularly tell me to sit down, my colleagues would freak out if they saw me standing on a stool trying to reach a shelf, the hubby would carry my bags for me…And he used to affectionately call me ‘my beautiful vessel’
Second pregnancy – I laugh when my mum tells me ‘I shouldn’t be lifting that’, I (inwardly) roll my eyes when the midwife tells me I need to rest and take it easy…It all just seems a little ironic when you have a 28lb toddler to lift every ten minutes and generally man-handle each day. The hubby calls me ‘the beast’.
First pregnancy – I was mindful about everything I consumed and would beat myself up if I missed my 5 a day or ‘fed baby’ a McDonalds. Heaven forbid if I ever missed a prenatal vitamin tablet.
Second pregnancy – I literally just want to eat carbs and don’t care where they come from. I regularly forget to take my prenatal vitamin tablet and will laugh in the face of the ridiculous ‘what not to eat whilst pregnant’ rules. Okay, it’s not like I’m drinking alcohol or having liver and bacon for tea but yes, I will eat my eggs soft boiled, my steaks medium, I won’t freak out if there’s prawns in my fish pie.
First pregnancy – We marvelled over each of the scan pictures we had from the twelve week scan, studying the little hands (“look, she’s waving at us!”), feet, nose and mouth. We paid for a 3D video and would watch it back at least once a week, trying to decide if she looked like mum or dad….
Second pregnancy – We forgot that we even needed to take a fiver to the hospital for the scan pictures. Luckily the sonographer didn’t seem to bothered about giving them to us FOC…They remained crumpled at the bottom of my handbag for a while amidst the raisins, spare pants (the toddler’s not mine) and Pom Bears. They’re now somewhere in a kitchen draw but I have very little desire to study the alien-like figure that looks exactly like all of the others that invade my Facebook newsfeed on a daily basis (#firstpregnancies)
First pregnancy – Preparing the nursery was like a right of passage during our first pregnancy. I spent days decorating, painting wall murals and researching the best nursery furniture. Completely disregarding the fact that baby would be sleeping in our room for months and we really had no need for a full-sized cot, let alone a whole bedroom dedicated to her.
Second pregnancy – Baby doesn’t have a room. In fact, we decided to move house a month before his arrival so he may not have a completed room for some time…
First pregnancy – I couldn’t walk past a baby clothing shop without buying yet another baby grow or pack of muslin cloths. I had a baby shower and baby’s wardrobe was full to the brim with everything I could possibly need (and more). I dutifully kept lists of recommendations from friends and family and the hubby and I would get more mushy with every new item we bought.
Second pregnancy – I haven’t yet bought anything for baby…hopefully he’ll look okay in pink?
First pregnancy – In all honesty, I’m not really a planner so a birth plan wasn’t something I had first time around either. But I did read every tip and trick online about what to pack in my ‘hospital bag’, and what pain relief I should opt for. I also dutifully exercised those pelvic floor muscles every day and planned to breastfeed.
Second pregnancy – Having done it all before I now consider myself an expert producer of small humans. My handbag could pretty much suffice as a hospital bag every day. Now, more than before I know that there is absolutely no point in planning the birth, since I actually have no say over what will happen. I’m not even sure I have a pelvic floor muscle anymore and don’t even talk to me about breastfeeding.